


All The Wrong Choices

by Maroonedpunk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death Eaters, F/M, Hogwarts, Seventh year, Wizarding World, sixth year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maroonedpunk/pseuds/Maroonedpunk
Summary: Ella has known Draco her entire life, as her parents were quite close to the Malfoy family. The thing is, Ella would hardly call Draco an acquaintance, nonetheless a friend. As often as they were forced to be around each other, the two lived their separate lives at Hogwarts.Until Draco is tasked with something he can not do and Ella is nosy enough to get involved. Others don't see Malfoy the way she does, and she's determined to prove he's not as bad as everyone thinks he is. It's time to stop him from making all the wrong choices.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

_Year 6_

Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to have a normal year at this school.

Let's recap, shall we? A Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had been revealed to be He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, a secret chamber had been opened, petrifying students, a known fugitive had broken into Hogwarts, the Triwizard tournament had killed Cedric Diggory and when Umbridge took over the school, students formed a secret organization to stop her. Of course, I had not been involved in any of this, but it still affected me and my family. My mother was worried about me going back to school. "It's not safe," she said. I couldn't blame her, honestly. If I was a parent and that had happened in my child's first _five_ years at school, I wouldn't want them returning. Did any of this stuff happen at Beauxbatons? Durmstrang? Even Ilvermorny?

Perhaps I should transfer.

I was being facetious, of course. I couldn't leave Hogwarts, not when there was a war to prepare for. Things would not end well if the Dark Lord returned, and although most people knew that, there were factions who were more than ready for his return. I was familiar with them because my father had been a Death Eater.

A Death Eater who, when he had refused to get Mum and I involved, was murdered.

I was eleven at the time, preparing for my first year at Hogwarts. I didn't know the extent to which my father was involved, but I knew he didn't exactly hang out with the right crowd. He kept us protected, shielded, saying he was doing what "needed to be done." Even now, I wasn't sure what that meant.

What I did know was that one of his Death Eater cronies was Lucius Malfoy himself. Everyone in the wizarding world knew the Malfoys, but my father had known Lucius since his youth. My parents were close with the Malfoy's, which in turn meant I was too. After all, I was an only child, Draco was an only child, and since we were the same age, our parents forced us to spend time together. We never _were_ friends. "Acquaintance" was even a strong word.

I knew our fathers had participated in the First Wizarding War. I knew my father had to lie his way out of Azkaban, as Lucius did too. Our fathers were not good people, but it seemed I was the only one that realized that. Mum understood that what my father was doing was not ethical, yet she never said anything. She was scared. And when Father was killed, she finally began to teach me right from wrong.

Draco knew right from wrong, but his right from wrong was not my version of right from wrong. I knew he looked up to his father because that's all he ever spoke about when we were forced to hang out. He'd sit in his father's office chair, twirling around a stick he pretended was a wand, acting like he knew everything that was going on. Like me, Draco knew the world would change one day.

"Father says things will be better when all the muggles and muggle-borns are gone. I can't wait."

"You're just repeating what he's saying," I replied back, putting the last wooden block into my tower. Draco jumped down from the chair and wandered over to my block castle.

"At least my father shares things with me. Your father doesn't know anything." He pointed his stick at my blocks and kicked them over, causing me to burst into tears. That smile on his face as my mother picked me up and comforted me sometimes appeared in faint memories.

Draco wasn't evil, just like I wasn't, but as kids, he certainly was _mean._ Even when I ran into him our first year, he pretended not to know me. Draco finally had friends he got to pick himself.

And there were plenty of other instances throughout our five years together I could name. He landed me in detention with McGonagall by screwing up my transfiguration assignment in our second year. He tried to spread rumours about me our third year and threatened to turn me into a ferret our fourth when I refused to let him copy my homework (little did he know he'd get what he deserved.) And, just this past year, he reminded me that he would one day be like his father, standing at You-Know-Who's side, unlike me and my dead dad.

So yeah. He sucked.

Of course, I can't speak about Malfoy without also talking about Hogwart's local celebrity, Harry Potter. The two despised each other and the gossip around school usually revolved around them. As a Slytherin myself there was only so much I could hear without establishing the bias that came with it. Gryffindor and Slytherin had a long, bitter rivalry for a reason I could never remember.

On the train, I sit in the back with a couple of friends. Erica Carlise, a Ravenclaw, was stunning, attractive, and very loyal. Daniel Green, another Slytherin, was intelligent, cunning, and always had some new spell he learned to show us. I loved my friends dearly, but I was distracted. Malfoy had sat down with Blaise and Pansy, but something didn't seem right. Mum didn't speak much with the Malfoy's after Father's passing, but sometimes the office doors were locked and I could hear hushed voices.

"Ella, are you even listening?" Daniel taps my knee with his wand and blows a raspberry.

"Sorry." I shake my head and look back at my friends. Erica raises an eyebrow.

"Are you looking at Malfoy again?" My friends were familiar with the relationship between my family and the Malfoy's, but only to an extent. They knew my father had been an alleged Death Eater because when he died, it was all over the papers. People suspected Draco's father too, but because he could still hide, that was that. I tried very hard to distance myself. Not every Slytherin needed to be involved in evil schemes.

"I'm not looking at him," I quip back, "just... observing."

"Right." Erica drops the subject, but Daniel did not.

"Is it weird to see him so... distant?"

"He's always been distant, Dan. That doesn't mean I don't worry."

"I would hardly worry about him. He's nothing more than a bully; completely harmless."

 _I don't know about that,_ I think to myself, forcing a smile for my friends. "Sure. I guess the only boy we need to worry about is Dan." Erica and I giggle, causing Daniel to roll his eyes.

"I just wish I knew what horrible thing was going to happen this year. I had to argue with my mum to even let me start the year."

"This school is cursed," Erica sighs, leaning back in her chair. I notice Draco shift and lay his head down in Pansy's lap. I bite my lip.

"Are you trying out for the Quidditch team again?" Dan changes the subject, giving me a friendly nudge. Perhaps I did speak about Draco too much. I shouldn't be as intrigued or, frankly, care as much as I do. He could make his own terrible choices.

"I'd like to, but with our advanced courses I'm a bit nervous the load might be too much."

"Wouldn't hurt to still try. You're such a good chaser," Erica flames my ego, giggling with Daniel.

"Besides, rumor has it Malfoy isn't returning, so the spotlight is yours."

"Are you saying he was better than me?"

"He's a twat, but he's pretty good on a broom." Dan shrugs. I find myself staring at him again, feeling a twist in my stomach as I watch Pansy's finger grasp his hair. Blaise is muttering about something when suddenly the cabin is covered in dark dust, causing everyone to murmur. I hear footsteps, but when the dust clears, everything is normal.

"Weird," Erica murmurs.

And that's that.

When the train pulls up to the platform, Erica, Daniel, and I gather our things and begin to leave the cabin. I notice Draco is still sat there, whispering something to Pansy and Blaise about continuing ahead. He locks eyes with me as I pass, flashing a smirk. I feel my cheeks flush and continue on with my friends.

###

Daniel and I had met when we were assigned to Slytherin. The Irish boy had his worries about his house, especially because he was muggle-born and often discriminated against. I will admit, I had not been the kindest to him in the beginning when I was still learning that being pure-blood didn't mean anything. The Rosier family had to uphold their reputation as a member of the Sacred 28, even if my father had passed away. So many people showed up to his funeral only to shun my mother and me for my father's failures. To fail the Dark Lord, to fail at _all_ , apparently meant death.

I was lucky Daniel stuck around as I learned and developed. We often talked about how things would have gone if I had kept to my ways like Malfoy and Pansy.

Erica and I, on the other hand, were instantly friends. We met our third year in herbology, which she was brilliant at. Dan and I always went to her for help.

"Did you see Malfoy stuck around on the train?" I ask.

"Probably cursing the cabin," Dan teases, waving his fingers in my face. I swat them away.

"I didn't see Potter either."

"Were you paying attention to Potter and his goons anyway?" Erica chimes in. Dan shakes his head.

"Ron and Hermione are nice," he says. Erica shrugs.

"I'm sure they are. I just don't understand why they get all the favoritism. If I knew kissing arse would get me into parties and out of trouble, I would have done it a lot sooner." The three of us burst into another round of giggles.

At the feast that night, it's revealed that Snape is taking over as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and alumni professor Slughorn was taking over potions. Snape was cold-hearted, but he had a soft spot for Slytherins. I didn't like him but never had problems. Slughorn, on the other hand, I knew nothing about.

Draco sat a few people down from us, squished in between Pansy and Blaise. Nobody ever knew if Draco was dating Pansy, even though he took her to the Yule Ball. At times he seemed disgusted by her; other times he seemed infatuated. Honestly, I couldn't see Draco ever having time for a girlfriend. He was too busy pleasing his Death Eater parents.

When he catches me looking, both of us immediately turn away. He looks distraught. Across the room, Potter runs in late, his nose covered in blood. I look back over at Draco who I catch watching his unnecessary childhood nemesis.

"Staring at Malfoy again, I see," Dan whispers into my ear. I feel my cheeks flush.

"I think he broke Harry's nose," I whisper back. He turns around to glance at Potter, who is chatting up his friends.

"He's certainly mulling something over."

That was true, and I feared the worst.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night, I catch Draco in the corridors speaking with Snape. He's not supposed to be out here after curfew, but then again, neither am I. I can hear them speaking in hushed whispers.

"I _swore_ to protect you. I made an unbreakable vow."

"I don't _need_ protection. I can do this. I was asked, out of all the others."

"You are _afraid,_ Draco. Let me assist you."

"No."

I can't make out what Snape's reply is, but he sounds upset. Draco yells at him some more. When I peek back around the corner, I see Draco pulling away from Snape's grasp to head back to the common room. When he rounds the corner, I pretend to be leaving the toilets.

"Ella," he says, finally acknowledging me. I take a few seconds to get over his initiation and continue.

"I know what you're up to Draco, and I'm begging you, don't do it."

"You don't know anything," he spits back, quickening his pace. I match it perfectly.

"I know your father's in Azkaban. I know my mother has been in meetings with your mother. I know—"

"You don't know _anything,_ " he repeats himself, his voice wavering.

"I managed to get out—"

"Your father was a coward—"

"He was _murdered,_ Malfoy. We should have never gotten wrapped up in this. Whatever they have you doing, it's not too late to back out."

Draco turns on his heel and sneers at me. "Don't you understand? It is too late." He rolls up his sleeve and shows me the mark on his arm. "They marked me. They have my Mum. If I don't do what they say, they kill her. And then they kill me."

I can see his eyes are wet. I want to help, but I don't know how. "I can help you. I—"

"Stop pretending to be my friend. We were never friends. Our families forced us to hang out and that's _it._ " With one more glare, he turns on his heel and saunters away. I watch him, feeling my stomach sink.

###

In potions the next day, Dan and I sit in the back corner as the rest of the students file in. Harry and Ron are late, of course, but God forbid they get in trouble. Slughorn tells them to get textbooks in the back and moves on.

Draco is sitting with Blaise and Pansy again, but he's quiet, his fist tucked under his chin. He keeps looking at me, but I pretend not to notice. He wants space. Fine, I'll give him space. Let him ruin his life, see if I care.

"Today we are brewing Amortenia. Can anyone tell me what this is?"

Hermione raises her hand eagerly, introducing herself when she is called on. "It's a love potion. The brewer smells what they are attracted to."

"Correct, Miss Granger. Malfoy, care to share what you smell?"

Draco scoffs. "Sorry. I don't do love potions."

"This isn't up for debate," Slughorn shoots back.

"I can do it, Professor Slughorn," Hermione offers, but Slughorn is adamant.

"I appreciate that, Miss Granger, but I have asked Mr. Malfoy to do it. If you don't comply, I'm afraid I'll be forced to take away house points."

Blaise and Pansy nudge him, not wanting to lose points. Reluctantly, Draco stands up and walks to the front of the room. He dramatically bows, bringing his nose to the caldron. Pansy leans forward, obviously excited to have Draco admit he's attracted to her scent.

Slughorn raises an eyebrow. "So?"

"Perfume," he replies monotone.

"Care to elaborate?"

Draco sighs again. He takes another sniff. "Peaches. Vanilla. Hints of berries." He locks eyes with the professor. "Is that satisfactory enough for you, _professor?_ "

Slughorn ignores Malfoy's sarcasm. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. You may return to your seat. Anyone else want a try?" Nearly every girl raises her hand, except Pansy, who is red with fury. Apparently she doesn't smell like peaches and vanilla.

"Ella," Dan calls for me, but I'm too busy watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione laugh about Draco's humiliation. When he elbows me, I gasp in surprise.

"What?"

"Isn't that... your perfume?"

"What?" I ask again.

"What Draco said. Peaches and vanilla. Don't you remember last year when you asked if it was too much and I said, 'I don't know what attracts straight men, Ella,' and you said—"

I interrupt him, fully embarrassed about what he's insinuating. "That's enough, Daniel. Please, I really don't want to think about it."

"What do you smell, then?" He grins ear to ear, pushing his textbook my way. There it is. We're making it.

Dan and I are quiet except for the occasional question. Pansy is still arguing with Draco, who is not replying to a single thing she's saying. He's sitting there, doing nothing, his textbook discarded to the side. I guess he's not concerned with school when he knows he'll be working for Voldemort soon.

"Cinnamon and fresh linen," Dan says, interrupting the silence. I look at him.

"You've finished?"

"Yes. Weird combination, right? Surely someone cannot smell like both cinnamon and fresh linen. How close are you?"

"Just the final touches," I reply, putting in the last of my ingredients. I lean down and take a deep breath, instantly met with a familiar smell.

_We're fourteen, gathered in transfiguration class. He prattles about his wealth and the presents his father got him for Christmas. "I'm finally wearing cologne," he grinned, ear to ear._

"Peppermint," I say, refusing to look Dan in the eyes. This is embarrassing. "Apples and... cologne. It's... zesty. I don't know the brand."

"Interesting. Sounds like you caught someone's attention." Dan gestures with a tilt of his head, causing me to slowly turn around. When I catch Malfoy staring, he ducks his head and looks away.

"Do you even _want_ to be with me, Draco?"

"Bloody hell Pansy, do you ever shut _up?_ " Draco stands up in anger and storms out of the room, but no one notices because Slughorn has brought up some sort of challenge for brewing liquid death. I try to ignore my childhood acquaintance and continue on with class.

###

"Slughorn really did that in front of the whole _class?_ That is excellent. I haven't even had him and I adore him." Erica laughs loudly during our dinner, prompting looks from other students. Dan was filling her in about what she missed. I elbow her.

"Can you keep it down? I don't want anyone to hear us talking about you-know-who."

"C'mon Ella, you know you can't say that," Dan adds, wiggling his eyebrows. "Malfoy was publicly humiliated and that's, y'know, really funny."

As much of a dick he was, I didn't want to sit here and bash on him for whatever happened back in potions. He was going through something; what that something was, I had no clue. I would find out though. Eventually, that prat would break.

"At least you got to do something fun in potions class. Herbology has been boring so far. No antics or tricks in sight."

"And you don't get to see Malfoy admit he likes Ella, either," Dan teases. I roll my eyes.

"I need a wee," I announce, getting up from the table. Erica and Daniel look at me.

"C'mon, Ella, you know we're just teasing."

"I'm going to the toilets," I rephrase, glaring at them. The two back down as I leave the Great Hall in a whirl of robes and pointed footsteps. I walk down the corridor, my thoughts reeling. I had never been great at dealing with my emotions. At times I was too neurotic, caught up in fixing my feelings immediately instead of reflecting on the cause. Perhaps that was part of the reason I was put in Slytherin.

The girls' toilets are empty, as most students are eating dinner or hiding out in the common rooms. I look at myself in the mirror and take a deep breath. I had never wanted to be involved in my father's business. As private as he was, I still heard things, things as a child that didn't make much sense until now. How manipulated did Malfoy have to be to think that everything that was happening was okay?

"Ella." A voice from the entrance causes me to jump, but upon observance, it's just Draco. He steps inside and leans against one of the stalls. I turn away from him.

"You shouldn't be in here," I say. He shrugs.

"There's a lot of places I shouldn't be." His tongue presses into the inside of his cheek. "I wanted to ask about your father."

"What about my father?" I cross my arms. I can only make out what he's doing through the mirror's reflection. Why I can't face him is unknown. Perhaps, after the events of potions, I'm embarrassed to admit what I already know.

"You said... you said he failed. That's why he was killed."

"Yes, and?" I see him wipe his nose.

"How... how did he fail?"

"I don't know, Draco. What is the point of this conversation?" Annoyed, I turn and shrug past him, but he's not finished. His tight grip on my bicep pulls me back. I glare at him. "What?"

"How did he fail?" He asks again.

"Does it matter? He failed. You know what happens when you fail You-Know-Who."

"Can't even say his name?"

"Can you?" I yank out of his grip and point a finger in his face. "The esteemed Draco Malfoy who can't go a day without insulting someone, so scared of failure because he can never do anything right."

"Shut up," he growls, unmoving.

"What are you so scared of, Malfoy? What's stopping you from making your own decisions instead of your fathers?"

"Shut up," he growls again. I have a sudden burst of courage.

"Whatever you are planning on doing, whatever is going on in that vapid head of yours, you don't need to do it alone. For once in your life, take a stand and—"

"SHUT UP!" Draco breaks, shoving me away. When my back hits the wall, he wraps a hand around my throat. I feel my stomach flip. Even though he's not squeezing, I wouldn't put him past it. "You are an insufferable, annoying girl. Stop meddling in my business and stop pretending that you of all people know what's going on."

"You're a coward," I spit back, smiling, "couldn't even smell a goddamn love potion."

His grip around my neck tightens, but I know he doesn't intend to harm me. Maybe it's my fault for setting him off, but I know he won't do anything. He never does.

"Unbelievable." Draco lets go of me and wanders deeper into the room, running his hands wildly through his hair. "Un-fucking-believable."

"We can ignore the fact that what you smelled was my per—"

"No. Shut up. Jesus, do you ever _shut up?"_ He turns around and glares at me. "What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say? I already told you, I can't back out."

"Then tell me what they're having you do. I can—"

"You can shut up and stay away is what you can do, understand?" His lip quivers. "This is my battle, not yours. And besides, don't act like you're not attracted to me either."

That takes me off guard. I didn't know he heard or even knew. My cheeks turn pink as Draco shakes his head and flees the scene.

When I return to the Great Hall, Erica and Daniel can tell something happened. Their faces fill with worry as I rejoin the table. Erica touches my hand.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, brilliant." I flash a fake smile. "What did I miss?"


	3. Chapter 3

Malfoy gets placed on the back burner as life goes on. I see him at Quidditch tryouts, but he purposely avoids me. His appearance is deteriorating, his face thinning, turning gray, as dark bags hang under his eyes. I worry for him, I really do, but I don't know what I can do to help. He won't speak to me and he's actively going out of his way to avoid me. Besides, I have my own life to worry about. Advanced classes aren't easy, after all, especially when everyone, including yourself, is in the shadows of three particular Gryffindors. I see Draco conversing with Snape a few more times but never stick around to see what's going on. Draco was right. It wasn't any of my business. I should let Malfoy ruin his life. He probably deserved it.

Except he didn't. If he wasn't alive to learn and grow from his mistakes, he wouldn't be given the chance.

When Christmas break comes around, I'm excited to leave Hogwarts, even if it's only for a couple of weeks. I'm feeling desperate, weak, unable to take a breath without feeling like I'm suffocated. Slughorn had a party, always playing favourites, that one, which of course, I was not invited to. That didn't stop me from trying to sneak in. Unlike Malfoy, I actually managed to gate crash.

It was fun to get all dressed up and crash a party, but I didn't have anyone to engage with to make the actual party _fun._ I'm invisible, not even given a single glance as I gather food onto a plate and leave the room. Filch had already removed Draco, so I'm surprised to find him sitting right outside, his knees pulled up to his chest. He scoffs when he sees me and looks away.

I slide down the wall and sit next to him. "You gotta get better at gate crashing." Nothing. He shifts uncomfortably. To be fair, the last time we spoke we were yelling at each other. "It's about blending into the background, you know? Say your someone's date. I'll tell you what, I don't know who Harry actually brought but one mention of his name and woosh. I'm in."

"I can't exactly make use of Potter's name, now can I?" More silence follows. God, I don't know if things will ever _not_ be awkward between us. I doubt I'm making Malfoy feel better, but it's fun to see him squirm.

"I didn't think a big shot like you would care that much about fancy parties."

"I don't," he mutters.

"Then again, I'm sure you just didn't want to miss out." I look at the food on my plate. "Can't be fun seeing Potter in there when you aren't."

"If you came here to try and make me feel better, you're doing a terrible job."

I pick a cake ball off the plate and stick it in my mouth. Draco stares at me, so I offer him a sweet. "Cake ball?"

Surprisingly, he takes it. I swallow and set the plate down on the ground. "You weren't missing much. Good sweets, but parties aren't fun when you have no one to talk to."

Draco, finished eating, wipes his mouth with his sleeve. "I suppose."

It's weird to see him so... mellowed out. He's not being an arse, but he's not boasting or bragging either. He seems sad. Melancholy.

"Do you have plans for the holidays?"

"Going home." For a second I think this might be a one-sided conversation, but then he rolls his shoulders back and asks me, "You?"

"Yeah." I pause. "Is your mum okay?"

"For the moment. I'll definitely have some unwanted guests around."

"Sure." With a sigh, I slide the rest of the stolen treats in front of him and pull myself off the ground. I guess I should get packing. "Enjoy your holidays, Malfoy."

"You too, Rosier." He's still acting weird in front of me, trying to play it cool, but I'm just in awe we had a normal conversation without him insulting me.

Behind me, I hear the plate slide across the stone floor.

Yeah, right. Keep ruining your own life. As if I could let that happen.

###

Unfortunately, not even a fancy Christmas party pulls me out of my mood.

But I'm happy to see Mum. She smiles at me when I arrive and pulls me into a hug.

"It's wonderful to have you back, darling. I want to hear all about your classes!"

"Absolutely." I go into detail about my favorite classes, about my place on the Quidditch team and the time I've spent with Erica and Dan. I mention that this might be the best year I've had yet and it makes me excited for the future. She listens patiently and is silent when I finish. The large house creaks, empty and alone except for the front room we're sat in. I find myself looking at my father's office door, wondering how many conversations have taken place and how many were good.

"And how is Draco?" She asks. I furrow my brows.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The Malfoy boy. How is he doing? Surely you've spoken to him."

"No," I lie, "he hasn't been around. Distracted by something, surely."

I can see the worry in my mother's eyes. "Yes. He's taken his father's place while Lucius is in Azkaban. I've been speaking with Narcissa. Snape is keeping an eye on him as he fulfills the Dark Lord's duties."

"And you aren't concerned?" This wasn't my mother. Mum had always been kind, quiet, and to herself. I didn't like that she was conversing with the Malfoy's, especially because she promised she wouldn't get involved.

"Of course I'm concerned, but it isn't any of our business, is it? What I say doesn't matter. I'm simply there because I have to be."

"You said things would change after Father's death."

"And they have, haven't they? That doesn't mean I don't get dragged into these situations. We're Rosiers, after all. I'm doing what I need to keep you safe. Narcissa is doing the same." Mum takes my hand. "Ella, we are pawns in a game we won't win. To ensure our safety, I am doing what is necessary. I need you to keep an eye on Draco. You're in the same house as him. He knows you. We are paying Narcissa a favor for one in return."

"He's not evil," I reply, my voice quiet. "Neither am I. I will not do anything for You-Know-Who."

"I've made sure you won't, but your father is dead. Lucius is still alive. Draco got dragged into this and there is nothing we can do but look out for him."

I look at my mother, worried. This isn't how I pictured our holidays. "Mum, do you know what they are having him do?"

She shakes her head and pleads again. "Just watch out for him, Ella. That's all we've been asked."

"He's scared, Mum." I can hear the raspiness of the tears brewing. "Whatever is happening, it's tearing him from the inside out."

She bows her head. She knows. She knows and nothing is being done.

"That's all we've been asked," she repeats.

Christmas goes on. I write letters to Erica and Daniel to ask how they are spending the holidays. Erica says she's in France and Daniel says he got a lot of chocolate and some awesome pranks he can't wait to pull on the Gryffindors. I hear Mum speaking with Narcissa again, but there's another voice I recognize that I can't pin. I have my ear to the door, trying to figure out what they are talking about, but Mum must have used some spell to make it impossible to hear. It doesn't stop me from trying to figure it out, though.

Within the first week back at school, news spreads that a Gryffindor girl has been jinxed with a dark artifact. She claims to not know who did it or how she got the package, but Potter seems very interested in figuring it out. I see him sneaking around the castle, getting involved in business that is hardly his. Then again, it's not mine either. The professors are very adamant that they will handle it.

"I guess we figured out what would go wrong this year," Dan sings as I sit down with him at the table. "One week in and people are already getting jinxed. Please be careful out on the pitch; I wouldn't want Malfoy and his tag team getting in the way."

"Malfoy quit the team," I inform him. Rumor had it that he actually paid someone off to take his place. I hadn't seen him once since the second term started. I did see him once over the holidays, when Narcissa brought him along for a discussion with my mother. I stayed in my room and ignored the nervous taps of his wand against the dining room table.

"Shit, seriously?"

"Can we talk about something else, please?" I rest my elbows on the table and sigh. I wasn't hungry at all. "Anything at all. Tell me about those pranks you had in mind."

"I visited the Weasley store the other day. Blimey, you have to visit. I've never seen so much trouble in one place!" His voice disappears into the background as he drones on about fanged frisbees and screaming yo-yos. As much as I loved pulling pranks when we were younger, I didn't feel up to it anymore. We weren't kids anymore. Okay, yes, technically we were, but _I_ didn't feel like a kid anymore. Being here, we were forced to grow up. Sure, I wasn't running around being the chosen one like Potter, or joining the death eaters like others, but I was still involved in a lot I didn't want to be involved in.

###

At Quidditch practice the next day, I see Harry speaking with Ron, Hermione and Ginny. I can't make out too much of what they're speaking about, but I do notice Harry pointing. I follow his finger to see Draco sitting in the stands, scribbling something down in a notebook. I jump on my broom and fly forward, my eyes still on the Gryffindors down below. Hermione shouldn't even be on the pitch, but God forbid she ever does anything wrong.

I swing a right and stop the broom right by Malfoy, who looks up from his notebook.

"Taking notes?" I ask dryly. He scoffs.

"Do you take pride in being a pest?"

"I'm pretty sure Potter is spilling your secrets."

"He has nothing on me." Draco returns to his writing, a silent cue to leave him alone. Unfortunately, I had never been very good at social cues.

"They're probably talking about that cursed Gryffindor girl. Did you hear about her?"

Draco tenses up. "The whole castle has."

I pause. "Why did you quit the team?"

He sighs as he sets his quill back down. "Please leave me alone."

"I didn't know you knew the word 'please,' Malfoy."

"I can not be bothered with you right now." He waves his hand, trying to swat me away. I watch his other hand subconsciously grab his wand. "I'm doing school work. I lost interest in Quidditch. Any other stupid questions you'd like to bother me with?"

"You lost interest?" I raise an eyebrow. "I specifically remember your father buying out the team our second year."

Draco is staring at Harry, Ron, and Ginny down on the pitch. I guess Hermione finally wandered off. Still, he stays quiet. Draco has never been the one to turn down a comeback. Something is wrong and I think I'm finally starting to connect the dots.

Harry stops me after practice. I didn't speak with him all that often because I was usually annoyed with him and his friends' behavior, so this was quite the treat.

"Ella, can we talk?"

"I don't know what I could possibly help you with, but sure."

We step off to the side of the corridor where I cross my arms over my chest. Harry looks around us to make sure no one is listening before asking me a question.

"Do you know what Malfoy is up to?"

There it is. "No. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

I guess I've annoyed him because he matches my tense stance. "This is serious. He's up to something and none of us are close enough to him to blatantly ask."

"You think that he'd tell me? Draco doesn't speak to anyone anymore, not even his evil henchmen. I'm not nearly as close to him as you think."

"But you two grew up together. Surely you know something—"

"I don't. If you're so concerned, why don't you ask him? Or better yet, ask literally any other student?" Silence. Big surprise. "Oh, I know why. It's because you see all the kids forced into the ideals of their parents and assume we all whisper about the horrible things we'll do together."

"That's not true."

"You've had everything handed to you on a platter since you arrived here, _Potter._ I know things are hard for you, but things are hard for everyone else too." I wait for him to reply, but when the silence continues, I go on. "Ask Draco yourself."

Then I turn on my heel and walk away.


	4. Chapter 4

Erica, Dan, and I meet in the library to study for an upcoming Transfiguration exam. I've hardly gotten a chance to meet with my friends this week because I have been so busy. Maybe Draco wasn't so wrong; the coursework plus Quidditch was a lot.

"I have no clue how I survived the first term," whines Erica as she returns to the table with her books. She dramatically drops them down, spooking Dan. He glares.

"Give me a bloody heart attack, why don't you."

"Less scary than the amount of work McGonagall assigns us," I quip, smirking. Dan shakes his head.

"Feels like she's wanting to kill us sometimes."

"Better than a howler, surely."

"Depends on who that howler is from," Erica argues. She flips open to the needed pages and begins to write. "I can't remember the dumb spells."

"We have to start on potions too, Ella," Dan reminds me. I sigh. "Two weeks in and I'm already struggling. God forbid they ever go easy on us."

"I reckon it's hard to focus when students are getting cursed, too."

"Did someone else get cursed?" I ask.

"Not yet," Erica explains, "but who knows? It could be another Chamber of Secrets situation again."

"You know something is wrong when that's what first comes to mind," Dan mutters. He wasn't wrong.

After our study session (in which we get absolutely nothing done), I change out of my robes and curl near the fire in the Slytherin common room with a book I haven't had any time to read. I'm only one of three people down here despite it being only a quarter past eight. The other two are first years playing a game of wizard chess.

Of course, until I'm joined by Pansy Parkinson and that permanent scowl on her face. She plops down next to me and glares until I set my book down.

"Can I help you?"

"I want you to back off," she sneers. I blink.

"What are you on about?"

"You know bloody well what I'm on about. Malfoy."

I laugh. "Now that has to be a joke."

"Don't think I didn't see what happened in potions class."

"Pansy, that was months ago. Do you really think there is something going on between us?"

"You have been spending an awful amount of time together."

I scoff. "Hardly."

"Let's get him down here then, shall we?" She jumps off the love seat and barks at the boys, "leave, now."

They leave without another word, looking terrified of her. In passing, Draco looks at them as he joins us, already having some idea of what he just walked into.

"What do you want now, Pansy?" He sounds exhausted. The bags under his eyes seem even darker. "I told you this was over."

"I want to make sure nothing is going on here." Pansy points at me, drawing Malfoy's attention. I don't think he even realized I was in the room until right this instant.

"Nothing is going on," we say at the exact same time. Draco ducks his head and looks away. None of the stupid boys at this school could ever look me in the eye.

"I don't believe it. Her, of all people?" She steps forward and harshly whispers, "her family reputation is destroyed. Your father wouldn't approve, would he?"

"Shut up, Pansy." Draco shakes his head. "I'm going to bed. Next time you want to drag me away from my studies, it better be for something good."

"You aren't leaving." Pansy grabs Draco's arm and wrestles him to the ground. I probably should do something, but I'm fascinated she's going this far to prove a point. I'm even more fascinated that Draco hasn't managed to push her off.

She pulls a small, pink vial out of her pocket and manages to uncork it with one hand. Draco yells at her, which Pansy uses as an opportunity to force the liquid down his throat. As soon as it touches his tongue, he stops fighting, straightens his back, and stares up at the ceiling with a goofy look on his face.

"There we go. Now you know who you're truly infatuated with."

I stand up so quickly my book falls to the ground with a loud _thump_. "You did not just force him a love potion."

Pansy smirks like she's done something incredible. "Guess he'll finally stop talking to you then, huh?"

"This isn't love, Pansy. It's dangerous and stupid."

"I guess we do dangerous things to keep out trouble, don't we?" God, that stupid smirk.

"I'm in love," Draco mumbles, a wide smile rising to his lips. He sits up and looks around the room. "The lake is so beautiful tonight."

"I know, darling. Let's get you to sleep." She winks at me and tries to pull Draco off to the dorms, but he refuses.

"I'm in love," he repeats himself, his lopsided smile turning into laughter as he flops back onto the ground. "Pansy, where is Ella?"

Her smile drops and I let out an involuntary snort. Probably not the most proper response, but I was surprised and in shock.

Oh, wait.

Oh no. _Oh no._

While most love potions made the drinker fall in love with the person who made it, Amortenia was different. When consumed, the drinker became infatuated with the person they were attracted to. And, if Draco really had been smelling vanilla and peaches that day, then we had a problem.

His head pops up from behind the love seat. "Ella, there you are! I had to tell you how much I love you. Oh God, I love you so much. I've been wanting to tell you this since we were kids, but—"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Pansy is furious. She really hadn't thought this one through.

"He's not serious," I try to calm her down, not wanting to be caught in a love triangle between a prat and a bitch, but Pansy is not having it.

"I've tried _everything._ This was my last resort. I can't _believe this!_ " With a loud scream, Pansy punches the fireplace and darts into the girl's dorms. I am left with a lovesick Draco Malfoy.

Draco didn't "do love." This was a problem. It would wear off eventually, but there was no guarantee it would be soon. This was something that needed to be dealt with _now._ I grab his sleeve and begin to lead him to the door; we are promptly stopped by Draco wrapping his arms around me.

"I don't think I've ever been this happy before in my life." Ouch. That might be true.

"That's kind of you to say."

"Where are we going? Do you fancy a cuddle? Or—"

"We're going to visit Slughorn, actually."

"This late at night? He's probably busy. C'mon, we can worry about that in the morning." Draco tries to pull me back as he hums quietly to himself.

"If you let me visit Slughorn, I will kiss you later." I'm lying, of course. Gross.

That definitely catches his attention and he shakes his head rapidly. "Okay. Okay, yes. Yes. I would love that." He tries to hold my hand, which I swat away.

"Focus."

"Anything for you, Ella."

I pull Draco out of the common room and down the hallway. Fortunately, we don't have to go too far since Slughorn's office is close by. After I knock, Draco returns to hanging off of me, still trying to hold my hand. I give up and let him as Slughorn opens the door.

"It's late, Miss Rosier. What's wrong?"

"Pansy slipped Draco a very strong love potion." I point to the blonde boy who looks more like a puppy than a cold-hearted death eater. Slughorn sighs and opens his office door for us to enter. I sit Draco down on the sofa and tell him to stay. He nods his head and begins to hum once more.

"You are the second student to bring a love-stricken boy to me," Slughorn informs as he looks for the antidote. "I'm beginning to think teaching students how to brew love potions was a bad idea."

"It's not even real love, so I don't understand why you would waste the needed ingredients for something so... shallow." I pause. "Who else was in here?"

"Well, perhaps I shouldn't say." He pours the antidote into a small glass and hands it to me. "What did you say he drank again?"

"Uhm. Amortentia." My cheeks flush. They really shouldn't, but having Draco hugging me is a bit strange. He tries to kiss me and I push him away.

Slughorn turns around, his eyes wide. "How much did he drink?"

"Just a small vial. Why?"

"That within itself is enough to last nearly a month."

Draco sniffs and staggers, nearly tripping over his own feet. "Oh, Ella."

"It's like he's bloody wasted, innit?" I inhale quickly. "Draco, sit down."

He obeys, plopping down on the sofa, stretching his arms toward me. I hand the glass over and sit down next to him. "Drink this."

"What is it?"

"It'll calm you down. Please, drink."

He giggles at me as he raises the glass to his lips. As soon as the antidote touches the back of his throat, his glassy eyes clear and he looks around the room in terror. When he notices how close we're sitting, our hands brushing, he jumps up, mortified.

"Where am I? What is going on?"

"Love potion, my boy." Slughorn pours himself a glass of wine. "No worries. Everything is fine."

"Love potion?" Everything floods back to him. "Pansy. I'm going to _kill_ her."

"It wasn't her you were trying to snog," I reply, looking at my feet. Draco glares at me.

"You're kidding."

"Guess we know who you're attracted to," Slughorn chimes in. "Ah, young love. Perhaps that's the reason I keep Amortenia in the curriculum."

Draco is beyond embarrassed. He storms out of the room like a child throwing a tantrum. I thank the professor and run after Draco, hoping we can finally have a conversation. Pansy had been right about one thing: there was something going on, something that started when we came here for our sixth year.

"If you're here to make fun of me, I don't want to hear it," he mutters, already on his way back to the Slytherin common room. I sigh.

"I wasn't planning on making fun of you. We've already had a conversation about... this."

"About me dropping to my knees and acting like a bloody idiot? Hardly."

"There's nothing wrong with liking someone. It's been a frequent topic of gossip among the Slytherin girls. If you could only hear the things they said about you—"

"Just stop, okay?" He spins around to face me. "This isn't about liking someone. This is another distraction blocking me from my own tasks, at which I've failed _twice._ "

My face scrunches up. "What do you mean?"

"I was the one that hurt that girl. I didn't mean to. I didn't realize it would do... that."

The gears turn in my head. "Draco, who was that package intended for?"

"Does it matter? I hurt her. I did that. That's on me." His eyes roll up to the ceiling as he tries to collect his thoughts. "Even if I did say I liked you, it wouldn't matter. You and me? Impossible."

"I agree, so let's just drop it." I was much more interested in the Katie Bell situation. Maybe Potter wasn't too far off.

"Can't just drop it when the whole bloody school knows." He's on a roll now. "I have a girl I never even dated trying to poison me. If that had been any other love potion, it would have been her I was trying to snog." He hides his face behind his hands. "At least you took me to Slughorn. God knows how long I would have been like that with Pansy."

"Someone would have noticed something. That's a very different Draco than the one standing in front of me." I step toward him. "Just let me help you. This is tearing you apart."

He's quiet.

"You don't even talk to Blaise anymore. Or Crabbe and Goyle. Who _do_ you talk to besides Snape?" Again, silence. "No one. You have no friends because you don't let anyone in."

"That's not true."

"You said you failed twice. Who are you trying to hurt?"

"He's going to kill me," Draco whispers. "I can't deflect. I have to prove myself."

"Who's going to kill you?" I'm so close to getting Draco to let me in. My hand hovers above his. "Tell me."

"I told you I don't want your help." He's suddenly ice-cold, projecting his anger and fear onto me. "You don't understand anything, Ella."

I snap. "You are a sad, insecure little boy, Draco. You bully others for attention, to make yourself _feel_ something, and what does that get you? You toy with people's emotions. You call them horrible names. You push everyone away with your constant _bullshit._ I've put my life on the line to help you and all you do is whine. If this is the path you choose, then, by all means, _kill_ whomever you need to kill. You can't even deal with the fact that you nearly killed an innocent girl. How will you be a murderer?"

I expect a reply but get nothing. He really is a coward.

Instead, Draco turns down the corridor and walks away.


	5. Chapter 5

Erica can tell I'm down. I think that's a superpower of hers, knowing when I'm sad. And it's so annoying that I even feel sad about something this stupid, but I do. I can't help it.

The thing is, I did like Draco. When he wasn't hiding under a pompous act, he was tolerable. I knew I shouldn't be attracted to him, yet here I was. He didn't care about me, so why did I bother caring about him?

I hadn't told anyone what happened that night with the love potion, trying to save Draco's face, I suppose. I had wanted to because seeing him like that had been hilarious. When I finally share that information with Erica, I fully expect her to start laughing and teasing, but she doesn't. She's quiet.

"Really? You of all people have nothing to say?"

"I have plenty to say," She admits, her voice quiet. She's looking at everything but me. "Just thinking."

"I mean, you can laugh. It's funny."

"No, it definitely is." Erica comes back down. "I'm just... despite all the teasing Dan and I do, I know you care about him. That's why I'm thinking. This potion takes love and turns it into something horrific. However, deep down, it's all based on attraction."

"Attraction is a lot different than love. I can say I'm attracted to anyone, but that doesn't mean I care and love them."

"But it's different with Malfoy, isn't it." She leans on her elbow. "He's the most vile boy here, yet you feel for him."

"He might be vile, but partially because he was taught that's how to act. I have pity for him."

"And that pity... is that part of the reason why you're... y'know—"

"I really couldn't tell you. Maybe it's because I've known him my whole life. Maybe it's because I'm so used to his behavior that it's... normal. Because the thing is, when he genuinely cares for someone, he tends to back off. He's been so distracted this year that I can't really tell the difference."

"Well, he obviously fancies you, whether he admits it or not. He's been forced to twice now."

"No, he told me." I sigh. "He said 'us' was impossible, and I have to agree with him. You know how people treated me in our first two years, Erica. Everyone knew my father had been a death eater and had been offed by someone on You-Know-Who's team. The difference between Draco and I is—"

"I hate to interrupt you, but look." Erica points behind me. I follow her finger to see Harry speaking with Katie Bell, who glances at someone and looks away. When Potter then points, I see who Katie mentioned.

Draco.

He seems to realize what just occurred and takes off, loosening his tie as he leaves the Great Hall. I jump out from the bench and apologize to Erica for ending our conversation.

"It's okay," she promises, flashing a sympathetic smile. I follow both Potter and Malfoy down the corridor and up to the third-floor toilets. Hardly anyone ever uses them, so it doesn't surprise me that this is the place Malfoy went to hide.

When I enter, I press myself against the wall and duck down to avoid being seen. I can hear Draco sobbing. Although I can't see, I can hear the rustle of clothes being dropped on the floor and the sound of rushing water running over his hands. I would offer help, but something tells me interrupting Draco's panic attack wouldn't be the best idea, even if Potter wasn't eavesdropping.

"I know what you did Malfoy," he announces his presence, causing Malfoy to immediately stop crying. There's a pitter patter of footsteps. "You hexed her."

Draco's reply is to thrust his wand forward, sending a beam of white light straight into the water tank. It explodes, flooding the bathroom. Harry ducks, shooting back with a spell of his own. I clutch my hands at my sides and crouch lower, praying they don't see me in here. That wouldn't end well.

After a few more back and forth spells, Harry shouts, "sectumsempra," causing Malfoy to gasp and tumble to the ground. I had never heard that spell before, but judging by Draco's reaction, I didn't have a great feeling. I leave my hiding spot to find Harry draped over Draco's body, his hands, and a majority of Draco's torso covered in blood.

I drop to my knees and look at him in horror. "What did you do?"

"I didn't mean to," he whispers, trying to press his hands to the large lacerations spewing blood. I fumble with my wand and murmur every healing spell I know. Draco continues to shake and whimper, his voice getting quieter as he loses consciousness.

"Please go find someone to help," I beg. Harry nods and jumps to his feet, giving Malfoy one last glance before running out of the room. I cup Draco's cheek as I continue to try my hardest to help him. The spells I know are not helpful, meant for minor cuts and bruises.

Not deep gashes.

By the time Harry comes back with Professor Snape in tow, Draco is unconscious. Snape kneels down next to me and recites incantations as I had done before. Unlike mine, his actually work. Harry is gone, removing himself from the scene. Classic Potter. Always wanting to play the hero but never wanting to deal with the consequences.

"Go see Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing, Rosier. I will be close behind."

"But Malfoy—"

"He'll be fine." Snape looks at me softly. That was a first. "I promise."

With a nod, I leave the bathroom, soaked, covered in blood, and even more upset than I had been before.

###

I sit in a chair next to Draco's broken form, still damp and covered in his blood. I've been staring at my feet, _tap tap tapping_ them against the ground, waiting for Snape to come speak with me. He will want to know what happened, how I ended up in the boy's toilets. Whatever happened to me wouldn't matter; I just hoped Potter would be punished like he deserved.

Pomfrey said after some rest he would be fine, but I wasn't so sure. Potter had made things so much worse.

McGonagall and Snape enter the hospital wing and approach me. I look at them with sad eyes.

"How are you, Miss Rosier?"

"I've been better," I reply dryly.

"Can you tell us what happened?"

"I overheard Malfoy and Potter arguing, so I stopped. Then I heard Potter use a spell I had never heard before. Sectumserpa, I think."

Snape looks away, but McGonagall seems interested. "I don't think I've heard that, either."

"It cut into Draco badly. I tried to do what I could and sent Potter for help. That's when Professor Snape came in." I look at him. "Sir."

"Fortunately, Mr. Malfoy will be fine after a week or two. It's a blessing you were there."

"It's a blessing Snape came so quickly," I reply.

"Potter will be punished to the utmost extreme," Snape promises, causing McGonagall to sigh.

"We can deal with punishments later, Severus. As for now, the situation is taken care of. Will you be okay, dear?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'll be fine."

McGonagall leaves, but Snape stays. He looks at me solemnly.

"You know what Mr. Malfoy has been chosen to do, don't you."

"No sir. I just know he's been picked for a task he'll be unable to complete."

Snape nods. "I would suggest you avoid getting too close to Mr. Malfoy. Getting involved in something unknown will not end well for you, Miss Roiser."

"It won't end well for him either, will it Professor?"

He does not reply. Instead, Snape says, "Potter will be punished," and leaves the room. I look at Draco. He looks peaceful, which is great. I don't think I've ever seen him like this.

"Hi dear." Madame Pomfrey has returned. I wish there wasn't so much happening so fast.

She smiles sympathetically. "Mr. Malfoy needs his rest. I suggest you go take a hot bath, change your clothes. By the time you're finished, perhaps he'll be ready for visitors."

"Yes, ma'am." I stand up and adjust my robes. With one last look at Draco, I leave the room.

###

Rumors spread quickly. Within a couple of hours, the entire castle knows Malfoy is in the infirmary. I hear people trying to figure out what put him there, but most people are in agreement: he deserved it.

I don't know if that's true. He deserved Hermione's punch to the face, but I don't think he deserved to almost be killed.

When I return to the hospital wing, Draco is awake, staring up at the ceiling. He looks fragile, like a porcelain doll.

He doesn't even move when I sit down next to him, either.

"Anyone come to visit you?" I ask.

"You're the first," he replies bitterly, "and the only."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, despite the circumstances." I pause. "I know we aren't exactly on the best of terms, but what happened back there—"

"You helped me," Draco interrupts. He's still looking at the ceiling. "Potter wouldn't have done anything, that useless prat. At least you acted quickly."

"He'll be punished. Snape promised."

"I'm sure Dumbledore and McGonagall will lower his sentence." He scoffs. "Stupid Harry Potter."

"Snape is looking out for you at least."

"Forget Snape. What were _you_ doing in the boys' toilets, Ella?"

"I saw Potter follow you up there. Had a bad feeling."

"A bad feeling." He scoffs. "Right."

"Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick? You got hurt. It doesn't mean you're weak."

"You said it yourself. I am weak. You saw what happened back there." For the first time since we started this conversation, he looks at me. "I don't want to do this, Ella. I can't."

"Then don't. You know our mums are trying to protect us—"

"It's always about protection. I don't want to have others protecting me. I want out of this." The sleeve of his jumper is rolled up, revealing the bottom of his dark mark. It's red, raw, and terrifying. It will be black once Voldemort calls for him. I wonder if Pomfrey noticed when she changed him out of his scarlet soaked clothes.

He's in so much pain and it breaks me. I reach for his hand, fully expecting him to pull away. I am pleasantly surprised when he doesn't. He even squeezes it.

This is what I meant when I spoke with Erica. When he cared, he was vulnerable. He was loyal. He knew I could help him from the start; it was a matter of being courageous enough to admit it.

"We could run away. Deflect. Hide. He won't find us if we use the right charms."

"The mark—"

"So what? He can alert you, not find you. And the less loyal you become, the more it fades. This has never been about you, Draco. It's been about your father. You don't think you're good enough, but you are. You are good enough. You know Potter will do everything in his power to stop You-Know-Who from rising. You know because you've always turned down your chance at revenge when that got brought up."

He wants to argue, but he knows I'm right.

"Your stupid rivalry is shallow, based purely on envy. He might be a dick, but he's right, most of the time. There's more to this than docking points for Umbridge and breaking his nose on the train."

Malfoy's jaw clenches. I'm telling him what he needs to be told and he knows that. It's the reason he hasn't pulled away from my grip.

"If worst came to worst, you wouldn't turn him in. You wouldn't kill him. Just like you can't do whatever it is you were supposed to do now."

"You're right," he admits, his voice gravely and quiet. "I want out. I don't want to be a part of any of this."

"Then _don't,_ Draco. I'm not here to argue. I'm here because I care about you. Do you plan to go your whole life without letting at least one person in?"

"Because it's weak, I'm weak, I'm—"

I kiss him. I shouldn't, I know, but I do. Not the time, not the place, but exactly the time and place. Despite being caught off-guard, he kisses me back, his hand on my cheek, on my neck, on my back. It isn't until Pomfrey clears her throat that we pull away. Malfoy is tomato red, more embarrassed now than he had been when he remembered being under the effects of the love potion.

"I would suggest you get some more rest, Mr. Malfoy." She raises her eyebrows. "This is something that can be continued at a later date, correct?"

I clear my throat and stand up. "Yes, ma'am. Sorry."

"No need to apologize. Mr. Malfoy, I have sent someone to retrieve your dinner. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, ma'am." He shields his eyes and settles back down into bed. His hand touches mine again before I'm forced to leave the infirmary.

There's a smile on my face. He can change. I can change him. We won't be wrapped up in this when we run away. We can go anywhere; maybe we leave for America and hide with them. Voldemort has seemed to avoid the states so far.

Whatever it is, we can figure this out. We can figure this _out._


	6. Chapter 6

Pomfrey says Draco will be in the infirmary about a week, so I try my best to keep him company. The only other person that came to visit, he told me, was Pansy.

"She seemed relieved I wasn't drowning in a love potion," he explained as we ate dinner together. I had been given permission to bring him his meals. "But that's only because it wasn't her I was infatuated with."

"You probably wouldn't have been ripped open if you were still under her spell, though." I raise an eyebrow teasingly, causing him to scoff.

"Oh, wow. You saved me. My knight in shining armour."

"Shut up, Malfoy." I roll my eyes at him. "I'm just saying. Things happen for a reason."

"That's bullshit and you know it. She didn't even apologize to me or bother asking if I was okay. Probably pleased I'm sitting here, trapped in this stupid place."

"She didn't say anything? At all?"

"She said plenty, none of which you need to be concerned with." He flattens his mashed potato mountain with his spoon and lets it clatter against the plate.

"Which means she was saying horrible things about me, then."

Draco says nothing. He's moved on from squashing potatoes to squashing vegetables.

"It's okay. I know my family isn't exactly well-liked."

"Yeah, well, either is hers." He sets his plate to the side and huffs. "She's always been so sure our families would merge one day. If only it didn't take this long for her to shut up."

"Well, well, well. Aren't we in a bad mood?" I hide my smirk behind my glass. Draco shakes his head.

"I got a letter from my father. About..." He doesn't finish. Luckily he doesn't need to, because I know exactly what it was about.

"What did he say?"

"It was time." His Adam's Apple bobs rapidly. "Ella, I'm afraid I might not be able to get out of this."

"You've been in here this whole time. What are you talking about? Once you leave—"

"That's what I'm talking about. There might not be a chance for me _to_ leave." Draco looks at me. "I don't want you involved in this. I might not have a choice, but you do."

"Yeah, and I already told you, my choice is helping _you._ "

He looks at the ceiling. God, that bloody ceiling. I wished he looked at me like he did the ceiling.

"Don't tell me we went through all of this only for you to take it all back."

"No," he replies instantly. Ah, so he _was_ learning. That was a plus. "You just don't know is all."

"But I could," I argue.

"No," he argues back.

"Fine. Then your father will hear about this." I stand up and collect my things. Draco narrows his eyes at me.

"You really do enjoy being an insufferable pest, do you?"

"Cheers." I start to walk away, prompting Draco to sigh.

"Wait."

I turn around and smile. "Yes?"

"The room of requirement." His tongue is pressed against the inside of his cheek. "There's a cabinet, in the back. Just... be careful."

"You know me, love." I wink at him and adjust my bag. "See you later."

Before I can walk off again, Draco calls my name again. This time, I'm surprised. I wasn't blackmailing him, so what did he want?

"Please be careful. I mean it." He looks serious and completely undramatic. That was new.

"I will be," I promise.

###

As soon as I leave the infirmary, I head straight to the room of requirement. I'm fully expecting to be alone, so imagine my surprise when I find Harry Potter of all people.

He looks at me as I enter and set my stuff on the floor. There are no smiles, no hand waves, no nothing. Just awkward tension.

"Potter." I break the silence because it isn't like I can go digging around with him in here. He was known to cause trouble.

Instead, I sit next to him and sigh audibly, looking over for his reaction. He has a copy of his advanced potions textbook in his hands. Strange to come up here for some studying, but I can't blame him when I'm in here too.

"Rosier," he says back after a little while. "How's Malfoy?"

"Good, considering the circumstances." I roll my hands back and forth over my knees.

"I'm surprised you're speaking to me."

"Eh," I shrug, "I'm not. Y'know, most people would jump at a chance to speak with you."

That gets him to chuckle. "I suppose."

"How did you know that spell, anyway?"

Harry looks at me. "Why were you in there, anyway?"

"I say if you do."

"Fair enough." A pause. Harry passes me his textbook. Inside is a plethora of notes scrawled in the margins including tips and even new spells. I hope I don't look as shocked as I feel.

"You used a spell you didn't know the outcome of?"

"Wasn't my best choice, no. I regret it. I came up here to burn that." I hand it back over and watch him brush over the pages with his thumb. "I didn't mean to hurt him like that."

"I believe you." I pause. "I was in there because I knew what was going on. I know what Draco did."

"So you followed us into the toilets?"

"I've done stranger, believe me." I offer a sympathetic smile. "He didn't mean to."

"I know he didn't mean to hurt _her,_ but he definitely meant to hurt the person that package was intended for."

"Which was..."

"Professor Dumbledore. Even worse, Ron was recently poisoned by a bottle of mead also intended for Dumbledore."

"And you've come to the conclusion that Malfoy is behind both of these."

"It makes sense, doesn't it? The people he works for want Dumbledore dead. I just didn't think Malfoy had it in him."

"He doesn't," I argue, hoping I can get this point across. I wish he had told me about this. "It's been eating him up inside. He told me he failed, but I didn't know what he was talking about."

"So he _has_ been talking to you, then."

"It's a recent thing, I promise. Look. Draco isn't evil."

"I know that."

"Do you?" He meets my eyes. I think this is the first time we've actually had a conversation like this, face-to-face, a "make eye contact" kind of conversation. "He's been told he was destined for greatness his whole life, that helping Voldemort was his entire purpose. How do you expect him to react?"

"He's a dick."

"And I'm not arguing against that. You're right. He is a proper twat. I'm just telling you that he won't kill Dumbledore. He doesn't _want_ to kill anyone. Your rivalry with him is petty and shallow, based on envy and his own insecurities. He doesn't want to actually _hurt_ you, he wants to make _himself_ feel better. Deep down, I know there's good in him. I know he means well. He just... he needs someone to show him that."

"And you think you can do that?"

"I don't know. I just... I know that I've known him my whole life. I've always known that I had a choice and he didn't. If my father hadn't been killed, I could have been in the same place as him. It could have been me being forced to do the Dark Lord's duties."

"If he refuses—"

"He dies." I take a deep breath. "When things get bad, which they will, he won't turn you in. Because he knows, like I do, that you are the only one who can stop him."

Potter is quiet. I've given him quite a bit to mull over, so I don't blame him. I'm not sure what to do in this silence, so I fiddle my hands in my lap. I know him and I have never been on the best of terms. Obviously anyone associated with the Malfoy's was put on Harry's hitlist, but at least he was given me the time of day.

"And you swear you two aren't... you know..."

"That's what you're concerned about? I gave this great big speech and you want to talk about romance?"

"No!" He jumps to his feet. "Sorry. I'm just, I don't do well with people telling me I'm..."

"The chosen one," I finish, smiling. "Right. Of course. Humble, aren't we?"

That causes Harry to blush. "Sorry. I'm sorry. You just... you obviously care for him, which is good. He needs that. I just need to know that you will stop him from doing anything stupid."

"I can't stop him from making his own choices, Potter. Especially if he gets it back in his head that Voldemort owns him."

"Then what's his plan? What's _your_ plan?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry I can't be of more help." I mean that, truly. Draco certainly was not set on any one decision, as proven by what he said earlier today. Maybe with his and Potter's information, I might be able to figure out a solution.

"It's fine. I'm quite used to making mountains out of molehills."

"Just know I'll do my best." I smile and nod to his textbook. "Shall we?"

"What?"

"Burn it."

"Oh." Harry pulls his wand out of his sleeve and freezes the book midair. I carefully point mine at the book as well.

"Incendio." The book lights up in flames. A thought seems to occur to Harry.

"What were you doing up here?"

"Looking for a cabinet."

"Ah. Do you need any help?"

"No. I'm sure you've got other things to do."

"Yes." The ashes of what had been advanced potions fall to the ground in a poetic way. Starting new, fresh, putting the past behind us. I hope it's a possibility. I pray it's a possibility.

"I want to thank you."

Now that's surprising. I look at the boy who lived. "For what?"

"Helping me understand."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure."

With one last smile, Harry leaves the room. Finally, I'm alone. I just wish it didn't feel so... empty.

The cabinet I assume Draco was talking about is in the back of the room. It's black, covered in tiny, ornate swirls. The lock clicks when I open it. Inside is a dead bird. Shocked, I jump back a bit. That was not what I was expecting. Then again, I don't know what I was expecting.

I stop by the infirmary one last time before heading to the Slytherin dorms that night. Big surprise: Draco is staring at the damn ceiling.

"What did you find?"

"A dead bird."

It's brief. Blink and I would have missed it. But I can see it in his eyes. The fear. The panic.

I'm losing him.

"It's time," he whispers, placing his hands over his face. "It's time."

"What are you going on about?"

"Ella, I need you to listen to me. Please go to the common room. Get ready for bed. And forget about me."

My face softens. I know what he's going to do. "Draco, don't do this."

"I'm sorry." He means it. There's a difference in his voice. A softness that wasn't there before. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't send me away. You said—"

"I say a lot of things. You should know that by now." He scoffs. He's sad. He _needs help._

"Don't do this," I repeat, firmer. "Not again. Not now."

He sits up in bed. "If you don't leave, I'll make you."

I can feel the onslaught of tears approaching. I've lost him. He's got it in his mind that he's got to do this, has to fulfill the stupid role he's been taught since birth.

I know he'll make me if I don't leave.

So I walk away.


	7. Chapter 7

I'm anxious.

I know he's planning something. I know he's going to do something stupid. I know he's in trouble and I'm sitting here in this stupid common room because he told me to.

No. I'm done playing games. I'm done being told I need to "walk away" for my safety. This time, I will be the protector, not the protected. This time, I will save lives.

I leave the Slytherin common room and move swiftly toward the infirmary. It's getting late, nearing ten at night, so I expect things to be calm. Madame Pomfrey is tending to another student's wounds when I enter and notice Draco's bed is empty.

Shit. I have no clue where he could have gone.

"Draco's gone?" I ask, even though I can obviously see he is. Pomfrey nods.

"Left a couple of hours ago. I said he stay the night, but he refused." She looks at me. "It's past curfew, Miss Rosier. I would suggest you head back to your common room."

"Yes ma'am," I lie, turning on my heel. There's only one other place I know he could be. The room of requirement.

I'm trying to be quiet and avoid Filch, but I also need to be quick. I've already wasted time and energy. Not only was Draco's life on the line, but so was Dumbledore's, and even Harry's. The closer I get, the louder the voices are. Someone is laughing. I duck behind a wall to avoid Filch and jog forward to the end of the corridor to press my ear against the door.

I don't know what they are saying, but I can hear people. I got here just in time because the door handle turns and I freeze, pressing my back against the old walls to avoid being seen. I hold my breath as Draco closes the door and walks off, fixing the cuffs of his dark suit all the way down the corridor until he turns. The people in the room of requirement are still speaking; one of them laughs again. It's the same shrill laugh I heard earlier.

Time to move. This would be a great time to have an invisibility cloak, honestly. Draco is very hard to follow around. He's vulnerable now, paranoid and on edge. I have to follow behind far enough to hide when he looks behind him. We walk, nearly thirty metres apart, all the way to the astronomy tower. I'm just waiting for him to catch me, for him to find out I'm following him. He'll be mad, see himself as a failure, and this whole cycle will repeat itself.

I stay at the bottom of the staircase as Draco ascends to catch my breath. This a lot for me. I was no Potter; I never had a path set in stone in front of me. For me to be out here now, on my way to stop a death, was absolutely insane.

When I reach the top, Draco is already there, his wand pointed at Dumbledore. He's threatening the headmaster, who stands near the edge of the tower with his hands held in front of him.

"Draco, you are no assassin," Dumbledore speaks calmly and clearly. Draco stands with one leg slightly staggered, his hands shaking.

"You don't know what I am. I've done things that will shock you."

"Like cursing Katie Bell and hoping she'd bring a cursed necklace to me? Or placing a bottle of mead laced with poison? Forgive me, I can't help but think these actions are so weak that your heart couldn't have been in them."

"He trusts me. I was chosen." Draco pulls up his sleeve and shows the mark Voldemort cursed him with. "I can't go back."

"I shall make it easy for you then." Dumbledore holds his wand out, allowing Draco to easily disarm him. "Very good."

The floor creaks underneath my feet, causing Draco to jump a little. He must be expecting the others to arrive soon.

Dumbledore hears it too. "There are others? How?"

"The vanishing cabinet. I've been mending it." He's trying to be confident, but he's not. He knows what he's doing is wrong. He doesn't want to do it, just like he told me. _I want out._

"Let me guess. It has a sister, a twin."

"Borgan and Burkes. They form a passage." He can't stay still, bouncing from leg to leg. The wind is picking up outside, blowing hair in his face.

"Ingenious." Dumbledore takes a step forward. He knows, like I do, that Draco can't do this. "Draco, I once knew a boy who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you."

"I don't want your help." Tears stream down his face. "Don't you understand? I have to do this. I have to kill you. Or he's gonna kill me."

"No!" I pull myself off the stairs and jump in front of him. He jumps, his mouth twitching as he lowers his wand. "Draco, don't do this."

"I told you to forget about me."

"And you really thought I could do that?" I smile sadly. Tears are cascading down my cheeks too. Draco takes a deep breath and points his wand at me. Surprised, I take a step back.

"Move over there." He gestures to his right. With a nod, I obey. Before anyone can speak again, we are joined by two others; two others I recognize from my father's meetings. Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback. Draco raises his wand quickly as his eyes move between Dumbledore, me, and the Death Eaters.

I take a couple more terrified steps back until I am too pressed against the railing. At least if I fall I have a chance at landing on the spiral staircase.

"Well done, Draco," Bellatrix purrs as she sinks her fingers into the hair on the back of his head. He closes his eyes and gasps for air.

"Good evening, Bellatrix. I think introductions are in order."

"Sorry Albus, but I'm afraid we're on a bit of a tight schedule." Bellatrix blows a kiss and laughs as she begins to move about the observation deck. She looks at Draco and whispers harshly, "Do it!"

It is then that she sees me. A large smile appears on her face as she staggers over, her posture twisted as she approaches.

"Ah, I didn't expect us to have a guest! How rude of me." Her head tilts. "Wait. I've seen you before. You are Deliah's daughter, aren't you? Such a pity about your father."

I look away as she steps closer. "Such a shame you didn't have a strong role model in your life, isn't it? Although I'm not sure he'd be too happy to see you here. I am, though. Second chances and whatnot, right?" Bellatrix raises her arm up and tilts her body to the side. "It was fun killing him."

My heart drops. I never knew who killed my father. I never knew what happened. I just knew he had been murdered.

But it made sense. The extra voices in the room. The shrill laughter. It was all familiar.

My tears fall harder. In the heat of the moment, I thrust my wand forward and yell "Expelliarmus!" but she blocks it with ease.

Bellatrix clicks her tongue and shoves her wand to my throat. I breathe heavily, refusing to move, as she presses her mouth to my ear. "Such a pity. Wand. Ground. _Now._ "

I listen, nodding slowly as I set my wand on the ground. Bellatrix kicks it away and laughs loudly as she saunters back over to Draco. He looks at me quickly before straightening his back and squaring his shoulders.

"Do it, Draco."

"He doesn't have the stomach," grunts Greyback. "Just like his father."

That hits Draco hard. He was already a mess, but now his knees are wobbling and he can't keep his arm straight.

"I'll just do it myself."

"No. The Dark Lord has instructed the boy to do it," Bellatrix reminds him. She leans in closer to Draco, placing her chin on his shoulder. "Go on, Draco. _Do it._ NOW."

He steadies himself with the reminder that he doesn't have a say. I close my eyes.

"No." Suddenly Snape appears, solemn. He pushes Draco back and looks at the headmaster.

"Severus." Dumbledore takes a long pause, his eyes sad. "Please."

Without so much as a blink, Snape points his wand. "Avada kedavra."

The light hits Dumbledore square in the chest, causing him to tumble over the railing. I scream, placing my hands over my mouth as he falls to the ground. No. No. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't... he couldn't be dead. And Snape, of all people?

This had to be a dream.

"We need to go." Snape pushes Draco down the staircase; Greyback and Bellatrix follow without giving me a second glance.

I scramble to pull myself off the ground and find my wand. I trip as I try to descend the stairs, sliding down nearly ten steps until my head hits the railing and my wand slips through one of the cracks. My heart is beating out of my chest. I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling except numb. I wasn't supposed to get involved; _he_ wasn't supposed to get involved. We could have been halfway to freedom by now.

I manage to catch up to the ground at the great hall. I call out Draco's name, stopping him from entering with the others. He looks at me with those sad, stupid eyes of his.

"You're bleeding," he whispers, pulling me into a hug. I can feel his body shaking. "I'm so sorry, Ella. I'm so sorry."

"You said you wouldn't," I sob back. He kisses my forehead.

"Get somewhere safe, please." And just like that, he's gone. I take a few steps back, watching the Great Hall explode in a mixture of ash and glass before breaking into a sprint. I leave the castle, where the field and nearly half the castle is ablaze. I drop to my knees, exhausted, as the group apparates into the air in clouds of black smoke.

All except for Snape, who has his wand pointed at Potter.

"He trusted you!" Harry screams. He must have been there. I don't know how, but he was there.

He is the one who helps me off the ground after Snape too disappears. He is the one who helps me back to school grounds, where a group has gathered around Dumbledore's body. We have some unbreakable bond now, the two of us. We witnessed the death of an amazing man.

And my heart breaks for him when he hugs the corpse of our late headmaster.

This was it.

This was war.


	8. Chapter 8

_Seventh Year_

Harry and I had a conversation before our sixth year ended. He said he wasn't coming back to school because he needed to find the rest of Voldemort's horcruxes.

I knew about horcruxes. To live longer, you broke off a piece of your soul and attached it to objects with meaning. When my father had been alive, he would tell stories of people he knew that tried to do that. It warped them, he said, turning the story into something with moral meaning. It was ironic my father preached so often about how to be a good person when he was killing people behind closed doors.

I don't want to return to Hogwarts. I know perfectly well what is coming. The school is in shambles without Dumbledore; Snape took over and made the school even worse than Umbridge did. The fact that Snape had murdered Dumbledore and was now in charge made my stomach sick.

Mum says I have to. She knows, as I do, that war is inevitable. Voldemort is back and Harry is racing to beat him. I hope he wins. I need him to win. We all do.

"It's the safest place for you now," she whispers, holding my hands. "With Potter absent, Voldemort will be searching for him elsewhere. You will be safe."

"And what about you?"

"You don't need to worry about me. I am doing what I can to keep you safe."

"Have you spoken with Narcissa?" It wasn't actually her I was worried about. I knew Lucius Malfoy had been broken out of Azkaban this summer. I knew the Malfoys were in Voldemort's inner circle, eager to prove themselves after Lucius soiled their family name.

I needed to know he was okay.

Mum sighs. "I haven't heard from her in a while. They've been busy this summer, as you know."

Yes. I knew. "She hasn't sent any other letters?"

"The ministry has fallen. They spend all their time with the Dark Lord. She hardly has time for letters."

"But Draco, is he... is he returning?"

She nods. "As I said, it's the safest place. Narcissa and I are in agreement. Plus, it would do no good to draw unwanted attention. That goes for both of you." Mum sighs. "All I've ever wanted is for you to be safe. No matter what happens, I will do whatever it takes."

"Do you think Voldemort will succeed, mum? Do you think the world will be better?"

"Ella, you know I can't answer those questions." She gives my hands a squeeze. "Just know you'll be fine, no matter what. You'll be fine."

And so my final year begins. The school feels darker and damper. I am paranoid, feeling like I'm constantly being watched. Snape knows I know, and I think the other professors do too. They avoid him. Classes don't change, but with impending doom hanging over our heads, they feel just as dark.

The school is empty, too. There aren't nearly as many students this year than there's been in the past. I wasn't the only one that knew what was going on. As soon as the ministry fell, people went into hiding. Everyone was scared. Diagon Alley had been abandoned, too.

Yet, here I was, at school. How was I supposed to act like everything would be okay? I didn't even have Erica or Dan this year to keep me company. Dan's parents had kept him from returning. He sent me a letter saying they had threatened him with muggle school after he shared the news of Voldemort's return. The name "Voldemort" probably meant nothing, but "impending doom" and "Dark Lord" certainly did.

Erica transferred to Beauxbatons. It had been a joint decision between her and her parents, and a smart one at that. She and Daniel had seen Dumbledore dead. They knew, like I did, what that meant.

The day after Dumbledore's death, a wake was held. McGonagall gave some words and we raised our lit wands in unity. That's not how I saw it, though. I knew what I had seen that cold, grey day.

 _Get somewhere safe,_ he said. Yeah, well, he said a lot of things.

The three of us gathered on the training grounds after the wake and sat in uncomfortable silence. We were all trying to cope with what happened, especially because it had been a very long night. The castle was damaged and in poor shape. We were tired, sad, and scared.

I had been struggling to find the words I needed to describe what I had seen the night before, but I needed to say something. I needed to get this off my chest.

"I was there when it happened," I admitted, breaking our silence. Erica and Dan looked at me.

"Are you serious?" Erica whisper-yelled. "How? Why? _When?_ "

"Blimey, don't scare the poor girl." Dan shook his head. "You share what you want."

"It was Snape," I whispered back. I didn't want anyone else to hear, even if no one was around. "With no hesitation."

"You're joking." Dan looked sick. "The people who burned the castle down last night—"

"Death eaters," I finished, "yes."

"There's no way I'll be allowed back here." Erica sighed and wiped a few more fallen tears out from under her eyes. "I can't believe Dumbledore is dead. I can't believe You-Know-Who is back."

"And what about Draco?"

His name sent sharp pains into my chest. "I don't know."

I don't know why I lied to them. Maybe it was because I felt like I failed him. Maybe it was because I felt like I failed not only myself but everyone at this school.

And now that I was back here, alone, I really felt like I had failed. My friends would be safe, but I couldn't say the same for the others here with me.

###

I get a letter.

I expect it to be from my mum, but the wax seal is different. I headed over to the owlery to open the letter in private because no one was ever here.

I slip my fingernail under the seal and gently unfold the letter. My hands shake as I realize who it's from.

_Ella,_

_I need to be careful what I say here. I have people watching my every move._

_You know I'm coming back to Hogwarts, but things will be different. We can't speak, can't be seen together. It's too suspicious. So, as much as I'll miss your constant pestering, this is important._

_You need to stay out of this. You need to be safe. I endanger your chances._

_I watched two more people die this summer. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm doing everything I can to free myself. I needed to tell you this. I wish it could be in person, but things have changed._

_He doesn't trust my father anymore. He doesn't trust me either, after the stunt with Dumbledore. Every single action needs to be articulated, poignant, and pressed, or we die. I know my father will try and pull some stunt. He's looking for Potter as I write this._

_I refuse to participate in these silly schemes. If you know where Potter is, let him know I'm on his side._

_Yours truly,_

_D.M._

I sniff as I try to collect myself. This was the first contact I had from him since this Spring. He was right; things have changed.

But at least he was alive. I know how much he risked sending this letter. I also know that I have no contact with Harry Potter. I can only hope that Malfoy holds to his promises.

He was flippant. He always had been. For him to keep his promises was a big deal. Potter was one thing, but doing what he told me was another. I had seen Malfoy's antics growing up. I had seen how he turned out. If he did what he said, I'd be amazed.

When we were younger, Draco used to play board games with his house elf, Dobby. While my father spent our long days in countless meetings with his death eater cronies, I sat in the front room of Malfoy Manor, trying my hardest not to be bothered. I had never liked going over there. Draco's constant teasing and rude behavior had been traumatizing.

Sometimes I was invited to play games with them. Those days were a little less terrible. Draco would never admit this, but he was always kind to Dobby when his father wasn't around to see. Probably because Dobby had been his only true friend growing up. That's not to say I didn't try to also be Draco's friend. Despite his constant bullying, I still tried to be nice. It was because I lived for those moments when he was kind.

I would never admit this to him, but Draco had been my only friend until I got to Hogwarts.

So, yeah. He wasn't exactly known for being reliable.

But I was hopeful. I needed to be hopeful now more than ever, not just for me but for everyone at this school.


	9. Chapter 9

Malfoy shows up a week later. Since Snape is aware of what's to come, there are no questions. I notice the other professors are cold toward him, so I can only assume they know what's going on. How is it that they know and do nothing? Are they just as afraid?

I stay after transfiguration class one day to speak with McGonagall. I know she was aware of the difference in the atmosphere. I know she understood what was coming.

"How can I help you, Miss Rosier?" She busies herself with the papers at her desk. I fold my arms over my chest.

"I wanted to speak about You-Know-Who, Professor."

McGonagall stops. "You might as well say his name, dear. He's alive either way."

"Right." I clear my throat. "You know that Snape is working for Voldemort, don't you?"

Her hands shake slightly. "I don't know anything about that. I would advise you to keep quiet and avoid rumors, Miss Rosier."

"Professor, please." I step forward to stop her from running out on me. "You know things have changed. We aren't playing Quidditch and exams... who knows if we'll even have exams? Why are we here?"

"I can't answer those questions." She's gathering her stuff quickly to leave and stop talking to me. "You're safe here. That's all I can say."

"But I don't think we are. I know you know more than you're letting on. I do too. That's why I'm asking." McGonagall has stopped moving. Her eyes are wide and filled with sadness. "If Potter comes back here, for any reason, we won't be safe. Even under Snape, we aren't safe. Especially under Snape. What are we going to do? What's our plan?"

She sighs. Like most people, McGonagall knew who my father was. She knew what my last name meant. The fact that she was even standing here speaking with me was a miracle. I know she didn't have a particular interest in conversing with Slytherins.

"Our plan is to protect our students. How we do that is unknown as of now. Just know that we are prepared. We are ready."

"Are you prepared to make sacrifices?"

She's softer now than when we started this conversation. "We're prepared, Ella. We're prepared. Now please, get to your next class. You wouldn't want the headmaster angry."

Just like that, she's gone. I reluctantly make my way to my next period, knowing that nothing about that conversation made me feel better.

And, even worse, Malfoy is in potions class. I suppose that's not a surprise, since he was pursuing advanced potion courses, but with him being a week behind I had nearly forgotten. He's sitting with Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise. Pansy is here too, but she's sat across the room. Can't say I blame her, especially after what happened last year.

Draco catches my eye as I enter the classroom. Slughorn, interrupted by my arrival, turns around and looks at me.

"You're late, Miss Rosier."

"Sorry, Professor. I was helping McGonagall clean up."

"Very well. Have a seat."

With a nod, I take the nearest seat and take out my books. Draco is still staring at me. When I look at him, he smiles slightly and ducks his head. My cheeks flush as I remember what his letter said. _It's not safe. It's not safe. It's not safe._

I was so bloody tired of hearing that.

Potions class drags on. I don't pay attention to what Slughorn is babbling on about. I don't know how anyone in this place can pay attention when our impending doom is hanging about. Perhaps a majority of the Slytherins feel safe with Snape as their headmaster, but they don't know what I saw. I don't know how Draco can sit here and listen either.

After potions, I follow him out of the room and up to the main hall. He must know I'm following him, yet he doesn't say anything. We make our way to the room of requirement, where I let him enter and stay behind until the doors shut. Then, I follow, trying to make sure no one is around to see us together. You know, safety and all that.

The room is packed to the brim with random stuff, swirling into tall towers all the way up to the ceiling. There is no way I'll find that asshole in here.

Until, of course, he appears in front of me, backing me until I'm pinned against the wall. Stunned, I drop my wand. I had my father's old wand since I had lost mine last year. It wasn't quite the same, but at least it was an option.

"I told you to stay away," he growls. I can't tell if he's being serious.

"And I didn't listen," I reply. He's trying to be all big and scary, but I know better. He's not a bad boy; he's a prep. "Drop the act, Malfoy."

With a sigh, he steps back, still glaring at me as I adjust my roughed up robes and pick my father's wand off the ground. I look at him, taking in the awkwardness between us.

"What do you want me to say?" He asks. I shake my head in annoyance.

"The last time we spoke you were threatening me and Dumbledore with death."

"That's not true." He takes another step back from me. "I didn't threaten you."

"Oh, my apologies, your _majesty._ " I hope I'm matching that scowl on his face. "You just threatened our headmaster who is now dead. That makes you an accomplice."

"I told you I had no choice."

"Yet you're back here."

"Mum was quite direct when she said this would be the safest place for us. He's looking for Potter, and if he's not here—"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just don't get you, Draco. I don't know what your plan is here. What is your endgame? Who am I to you these days?"

"Don't start this."

"I'm so sick of this 'will they, won't they' situation you've put me in. You can't play both sides. Sooner or later it's going to bite you in the ass."

His jaw clenches. I do a mighty fine job of getting him riled up. "I'm trying to play it safe."

"No, you aren't. You're playing it stupid."

"I'm trying to protect—"

"If you finish that sentence with you, I'll kill you." I guess I do a fine job of getting myself riled up, too. "We've already established neither of us _needs_ protection, so don't start that bullshit. I got your letter. I saw what you wrote. So either you are faking _this,_ or you're just goddamn oblivious."

"I'm not faking anything. I just... I don't know what I'm doing." He's relaxed a bit and is now pacing back and forth. "I don't know what's going on. I don't know what I'm expected to do and I'm trying to keep you out of it."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't you who put me back in it, was it?" It was partially my mum, but mostly me. I was inserting myself so I could make smart decisions for... him. Huh. I guess this wasn't my fight. Was I thinking I really could change him? Was it my place to change him?

With a sigh, I sink to the floor. Draco joins me, flaring out his robe behind him. Always had to put on the theatrics, that one.

"I don't know what's going on either," I admit. "I'm scared this won't end well, but I'm trying to have hope."

"I'm scared too," he admits, and I think that's the first time he's ever admitted that. I knew being considered weak was hard for him to deal with. "The anticipation of waiting for something to happen is eating me from the inside."

"And with everything you've seen, I'm sure it can't be easy." More silence follows. He fiddles with his wand, spinning it in between his fingers.

"Yeah, well, I'm scared of disappointing my father too. He's the main reason I've kept this going. I think... I think I'm scared of him."

"And what about Voldemort?"

"I think I'd be crazy if I wasn't afraid of him."

"Yeah. Fair enough." I pause. "You'll have to choose a side eventually. You know that, right?"

He doesn't reply. That means he knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"If you're going to be icy toward me, at least do it to impress your friends. I'm a bit tired of the attitude you've been throwing at me."

"That's cause I know you can handle it," he says dryly. I scoff.

"You know I got your back. You aren't exactly popular with a majority of the staff here, are you?"

"I suppose not."

"I'd like to think you'd have mine, but who really knows with you."

He seems offended. "I didn't sign that letter 'yours truly' for fun."

That makes my heart skip a beat. "Alright then."

"Alright then." I guess the conversation is done here. I go to pick myself off the ground when Draco suddenly speaks again.

"Do you remember the Yule Ball?"

That was random. I wonder what sparked that memory. "Yes."

"You went with your friend. What's his name? The mudblood?"

I frown at him. "Don't call him that. Seriously."

Draco genuinely looks sorry, which is surprising. "Sorry. Force of habit."

I accept his apology. "Dan, yeah. Nobody asked us, so we went together."

"Right. You looked... you looked stunning that night. Truly."

"That compliment is about three years too late, love."

"I only say that because... because I had wanted to ask you, but I didn't know how. Then Pansy kept spewing shit about your family and I chickened out. I know I've been terrible to you. I know I've been terrible to everyone. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry, for everything. Because you're right. I am scared. I am insecure. I want people to think I'm the best when I'm actually not."

"I know there is kindness in you. I've seen it. Just show that to other people."

"You shouldn't have forgiven me nearly as many times as you have."

I smile at him. "Yeah, well I believe in second chances. And thirds. And fourths."

He chuckles quietly. For a second, we lock eyes, and I lean in to kiss him. I had forgotten how the lump in my stomach disappeared when we were together. He's not as sharp and angular when he's kissing me, because he cares. I see that now.

Don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean I trust him one hundred percent.

"Okay," I say when we pull away, "now I'll stay away from you."

"Brat," he mutters, smiling at me.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the holidays I get another letter. They found Potter.

Draco tells me he tried his best to let Harry go free because without explicit proof they refused to call Voldemort in. He'd be angry, and the Malfoys were already in trouble. If they were the ones that brought Potter to him, their good reputation would be restored.

That didn't happen. The golden trio got away. It was a rollercoaster of a letter, but at least they are still safe and sound. I wonder how many horcruxes they have left.

Then, Potter returns, and I know the war is here.

When the rumors start, Snape brings everyone into the Great Hall. He's very adamant that anyone who has information needs to share, or we will all face punishment. All of us are silent. As I look around the room, I see Draco fiddling with his robes. Surely he wasn't the one that spilled information. He wouldn't be that petty _still,_ would he?

"I assure you the punishment for helping Mr. Potter will be much, much worse."

"There's no need for that, Professor." Speak of the devil. Potter steps out of the crowd, causing murmurs to fall upon the room. He looks long and hard at our new headmaster. "How dare you stand where he stood."

Snape is silent, but the room can tell he's uncomfortable. Harry continues.

"He trusted you and you murdered him."

The doors to the Great Hall open behind him, revealing the members of Dumbledore's Army. I recognize Hermione and Ron at the front, with Neville, Luna, and a few other familiar faces in the crowd.

When Snape pulls out his wand, everyone in the room scatters. McGonagall pushes Harry out of the way and stands staggered, threatening Snape with her own wand. He fires and McGonagall blocks it with ease. She shoots back once, twice, three times, causing Snape to apparate in a cloud of dark smoke, shattering the window.

"Coward!" She yells as he disappears. When the group realizes the threat is gone, everyone begins to cheer. Unfortunately, that success is cut short but sudden screams as we all cover our ears. A voice makes its way into our heads, turning the room ice cold and sending shivers down my spine.

" _I do not want to kill you,_ " the voice hisses, _"I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood. Give me Harry Potter, and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight._ "

As soon as it finishes, the torches relight and the room returns to a normal temperature. Students look at each other nervously; some look at Harry who's still standing in the middle of the room.

"Well?" Pansy speaks up. "Someone grab him."

The room is quiet as Ginny pushes Harry behind her, soon followed by the rest of Dumbledore's Army. McGonagall beckons Filch over without taking her eye off of Pansy.

"Mr. Filch, please escort the Slytherins to the dungeons. Everyone else, take cover in your common rooms."

Once again, the crowd is filled with commotion as everyone tries to flee to a safe space. I press myself against the wall as the group files out of the room, knowing perfectly well I won't be going down to the dungeons. Pansy could dig her own grave. She had been doing that her whole life anyway.

I hear Potter telling McGonagall saying that he needs time. There can be only one reason he's here: somewhere there is a horcrux. He notices I haven't left the room as he peels off his robes and tosses them to the side.

"Alright, Ella?"

"Been better," I admit. "Are you looking for horcruxes?"

He nods. "I have a good idea of what I'm looking for, so don't worry."

"I'll be around if you need any help."

Harry smiles. "Thanks."

I wait for the group to leave the room before I follow and head up the stairs. I take my robes off and drape them over the railing before continuing, navigating around students. I don't know where I'm heading, but I'm moving up. Outside, I see a small, thin veil covering the castle, and my stomach sinks. The moment I knew was coming, the moment we had been preparing for, was finally here. People were going to die; _I_ could die. I just hoped it would be worth it.

I turn down a corridor and wander around, noticing that I seem to be alone. Of course, until I hear whispering. You were never truly alone at Hogwarts.

Harry is whispering to Luna Lovegood. I think she's a Ravenclaw, but once again, I had never really talked to her. She always seemed cool, though. A little weird, but cool.

I can't hear what they are talking about, but Harry is very expressive, waving his hands about. I stay hidden until the conversation is over and they part ways. Without running the risk of losing Harry, I have to walk past Luna since they went opposite ways. She stops me as I try to walk past her as inconspicuous as possible.

"Ella, right?"

I stop. "Yes. Luna, right?"

She smiles. "Yes. Are you looking for Harry?"

"How did you know?"

"You seem kind. I assume you're trying to help." Luna pauses. "You're also looking for Draco, aren't you?"

Was she psychic? "I figured wherever Harry would be, Draco would follow."

"An astute observation! He's looking for a horcrux. If you leave now, you should be able to catch him."

"Thanks, Luna. Be safe."

"You too." She skips away, humming, as I dart down the corridor. Harry enters the Room of Requirement and I follow, hiding behind piles of contraband. He's looking through items. Then, I hear other voices and move back toward the doors. I shouldn't be surprised when I see three familiar faces. Looks like I was right. Wherever Harry went, Draco was sure to follow.

I peer out from behind another tall pile of mismatched furniture watching Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy whisper in their tight group huddle.

"I swear I saw Potter come in here," Goyle argues. Draco shakes his head and steps away.

"This place is huge. He could be bloody anywhere, you idiot."

I feel my heart sink. Fucking Draco, switching sides again. I knew I couldn't trust him.

"He said he was looking for something, didn't he?"

"What something could that _be,_ you oaf?"

The conversation stops when a loud noise is heard on the other side of the room. The three pause, listening. Draco takes a couple of steps forward.

"He's in here," Crabbe points out. Draco flips him off and tells him to shut up. More silence follows as they try to listen to where Potter could be. It isn't until Harry is directly in front of them that they raise their guard and get into a defensive position. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. They weren't smart, those boys.

"What are you doing here?" Draco asks, his wand pointed at Harry. Harry stays calm.

"I could ask you the same question."

"You have something of mine." It's then I notice that Draco has a different wand. I wonder how that happened. He didn't mention that in his letter. "I'd like it back."

"What's wrong with the one you have?"

"It's my mother's. It works, but it doesn't quite... understand me. You know what I mean?" I can see his hands shaking. Once again, he doesn't want to do this; he just wants to look cool in front of his shitty friends. What a baby.

Harry folds his arms over his chest. "Why didn't you tell her?"

Draco's face softens. This part, I knew. He didn't send Harry to Voldemort because he knew Harry was the only one who could end this war. "What?"

"Bellatrix. You know that was me. Why didn't you send me in?"

"Uh," Draco tries to come up with some excuse that will allow him to save face, but he can't think of anything. His friends are becoming irritated.

"Enough, Draco." Goyle steps forward and basically presses his mouth against Draco's ear. "Do it. Don't be a prat."

Before Draco is given a chance to react, Hermione appears, firing at Goyle with "Expelliamus!" Goyle is hit in the chest and tumbles to the ground. Crabbe tries to retaliate, but he only gets through "Avada!" before Ron joins the group and disarms him. The three boys run away with Ron chasing after them.

"That's my girlfriend, you numpty!" He shouts, disappearing behind another furniture pile. Hermione and Harry start to whisper incoherently, so I try to move closer. Draco and his stupid friends. They were cowards, the lot of them.

Then, Ron starts screaming bloody murder. I notice an orange glow spreading across the room, but it isn't until I see the flames that I realize something is terribly wrong.

"Goyle set the bloody place on fire!" The three of them run past me, so I take a hard right to avoid them. I really don't want to have a conversation of "why were you here" because I know where their minds will go. I was Slytherin, therefore I was bad. Potter might be willing to hear me out simply because he knew I was constantly babysitting Malfoy but a conversation, while we were running away from cursed fire, was probably not the best idea.

Unfortunately, hiding from the golden trio ends up being not much of an option because the fire surrounds us and I find myself tumbling straight in front of them. I can feel the heat on my skin and I have to hide my face behind a hand in order to even see straight. The three of them look at me.

"What are you doing here?" Harry yells over the roar of the flames.

"Can we have this conversation when we aren't about to die?" I yell back. Quickly, I scan the area until I find a bunch of brooms. I point it out and Ron grabs four to pass out. We're lucky that three out of the four of us are on the Quidditch team, although Hermione seems to be handling herself well. We're even luckier we found the brooms when we did.

Harry leads the way, bringing us over the flames that have engulfed the entire room. He points toward the doors at the front and zips off, Ron and Hermione following suit. I stay back for a second, looking for Draco. Surely he's still in here. Surely he's not... you know. Dead.

My heart nearly stops when I see him standing on a table delicately placed on top of a furniture pile. Goyle is with him, but Crabbe is not. I assume the worst.

Quickly I speed up to join the others, falling in line with Harry. "Malfoy and Goyle!" I yell, pointing behind us. Harry nods, pulling up on the handle of his broom to slow down. Ron and Hermione look behind, now in front of us.

"What are you doing?" Ron shouts.

"We have to go back for them! You two go ahead."

Ron shakes his head. "If you die for them Harry, I'll kill you!"

"Go!" Harry waves them forward and they speed off. He moves closer to me. "Where are they?"

"Back corner!"

"Lead the way." He gestures for me to move and falls in line behind me. As we zoom forward, the table under the Slytherin boys' feet cracks, causing them to fall. Both manage to hang on by only their fingers. I feel my heart skip a beat; if Draco were to die _right now_ before the war even started, I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself.

I stretch my hand out as far as I can, reaching for Draco who does the same. I don't get enough momentum to grab him and he slips further down the table. Harry has Goyle already and didn't bother to make sure we were fine. No worries. I can get him the second time around.

I give myself enough time and momentum to reach out to him. Draco jumps as the table is engulfed in flames and lands on the broom, his arms wrapped securely around my waist. It becomes a race against the flames as I move faster than I think I've ever moved on a broom in my entire life. I spin and duck around the burning piles as best as I can until we come upon a giant wall of fire blocking the door. I nudge Draco behind me as a silent plea to help me douse the flames.

"Aqua Eructo," he murmurs behind me. A small, thin opening appears in the flames, giving me just enough time to fly through. When we get through the front doors, I pull up on the broom handle too quickly, kicking the both of us off. I hit my head against a column while Draco rolls across the ground until the momentum stops. In front of me, Harry stabs a small, petite crown and kicks it into the flames. Ron uses his wand to close the doors just as the fire tries to escape. Finally, we're safe.

I sit up, noticing Draco and Goyle are gone. Of course they are. I, however, am not as lucky. Ron and Hermione are staring daggers at me.

"What were you doing in there?" Hermione demands, placing her hands on his hips. I huff as I pull myself off the floor.

"I wasn't trying to sabotage. Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean I'm trying to ruin your plans."

"She's fine," Harry vouches for me. He's leaning against a column, trying to catch his breath. "If anything we should be thanking her."

"Wait a minute. You're the girl Malfoy's been seeing, aren't you?" Ron asks. I roll my eyes.

"More like babysitting."

He grins. "Oh, I like her."

Hermione elbows him. "Is that why you were in there, then? Stalking Malfoy?"

"Not stalking. Just trying to stop anything stupid from happening. I didn't even know you lot were in there until you knocked Goyle back."

"They're all idiots," Hermione informs me like I didn't already know that. I nod my head in agreement.

"Trust me, I'm well aware of that. Why do you think I was in there in the first place?" I change the subject. "That thing you kicked back in. Was that a horcrux?"

Hermione looks at Harry. "Jesus, is there anything else you're keeping from us?"

"It's not that big of a deal," replies Harry. He looks at me. "Yes. There's one more left. We'll try our hardest to get to it, but the war will happen."

"I expected so." I pause. "Be careful. I'll be around if you need anything."

"You too."

"Pleasure," Ron adds. I take a couple of steps backward, watching them watch me until I disappear down the corridor. Now begins my search for Draco. 


	11. Chapter 11

Fortunately, I don't have to go too far, because he's just around the corner, sitting on the floor across from a window with his knees pulled to his chest. With a sigh, I join him. Outside the window the protective film shielding the school glimmers.

"So," I start hoping he'll give me something. He's got burn marks on his hands and one across his forehead. It's weird to see his hair a mess, too. Normally he wouldn't be caught without every single strand in place.

Of course, Draco doesn't say anything. Leave it to him to never speak unless he was initiating the conversation. What a brat.

"You told me you'd stop playing sides. What the hell was that?" Again, nothing. It's like I'm talking to a brick wall. "You were just trying to impress your bodyguards, won't you?"

"They weren't just my bodyguards," he's defensive, "they were my friends. And I lost one tonight." This time, I'm quiet. I was terrible for not even asking how he was doing. Malfoy might have seen death before, but this was his friend.

He goes on. "They weren't good people and they did things I didn't agree with, but they were the only people at this stupid school who tried to get to know me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"You're right, though. They told me they saw Potter. Goyle was going to kill Hermione. I never... I never wanted to do that." He shakes his head. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?"

"You're not an idiot," I reply, "just a bit fickle. No one trusts you because you keep flipping back and forth between sides. And I know you're scared. Trust me, if anyone in this school knows you're scared, it's me, because I'm scared too. I think we're all scared. I know you've seen things most people here haven't seen, but does that not make you want to choose a _side?_ "

Draco is thinking. I know this because he has his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek and he keeps messing with the sleeves of his suit jacket. Like me, he had abandoned his robes after leaving the Great Hall.

"I don't... I don't want to let him down."

"Who?" With one _look,_ I know exactly who Draco is talking about. This whole time, it's been about one person: his father. "Oh."

"My whole life, I wanted to be like him. I thought I _could_ be like him. But nothing I did was ever enough; he was always disappointed. He's never been proud of me. And I keep thinking, maybe, if I do this right, if I don't mess this up, I can do this."

"But can you?"

"I could, but I don't want to."

I raise an eyebrow. "Could you?"

His shoulders sink. "No. I never _wanted_ to be a part of any of this. I thought I had to. I thought this was my destiny, that this was the reason I was told my whole life I was special. And then I showed up here and learned that I was a nobody."

The very fact that he was admitting this to me meant that he was learning. He had guilt and he wanted to be better. I just hoped he could stay alive through all of this.

Then another thought occurs to me. During our third year, Draco refused to participate when we learned about boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He said the whole thing was ridiculous and he wouldn't have any part of it. At the time I thought he probably believed he was too cool for it, but now I was recognizing that he just didn't want the class to see what his boggart was.

"You're scared of your father, aren't you?" I ask. "That's what your boggart was."

He scoffs. "Do you remember every minute detail about my life?"

"I've known you my whole life and all I ever wanted was to be your friend. You were just too insecure to see that."

"I knew you wouldn't understand."

That strikes a nerve in me. I glare at him. "Don't you _dare_ say that. You saw what my boggart had been that day. And I know you remember." Unlike Draco, I hadn't been scared of my father, but I had wanted his attention. He never had time for me. I could draw him a billion pictures, pick him a million flowers, take a hundred photos, and he still never paid any attention to me. He was too busy.

Then, one cold, dark Spring day, my father's study door was open. That door was never open; I was never allowed inside. To see it open, I knew something was wrong.

How right I was. His empty eyes haunted me to that day. I hadn't told you this, but yes, I had found my father's corpse. His body was my boggart, and the whole class had seen that. I left the period in tears that day.

Draco bows his head. I hope he feels guilty. He spent our entire time here bullying me for having a dead father.

"All I wanted was for my dad to give me the time of day, but everything he did seemed to be more important to you. I know what it's like to want approval and validation. I know what it's like to want attention, to _crave_ attention, and try for it by any means necessary. Unlike you, I went out of my way to learn outside of what my father taught me. I went out of my way to _try_ and be a better person.

"I have pity for you, Draco. I know that's the last thing you want to hear from me, but it's true. I know people care about you. I know there are people who will give you the validation and attention you crave. The second you let go and understand that there will be people whom you can never please, your life will be so much easier."

"Ella," Draco tries to interrupt me, but I'm over it. I silence him with a raise of my hand.

"These past two years I have given my _all_ to make sure you were safe because I knew you were struggling. I know you've been struggling the whole time you've been here. What we are facing is not going to be easy. You're going to have to summon every bit of courage you have in your body to survive. There will be no begging, no switching, no nothing. I'm telling you right now: pick a damn side and stop being a coward."

"Ella," he tries again. I fold my arms and look away. "Let me say from the bottom of my heart that I am so, so sorry. And I mean that. Truly. You of all people know that I tend to have a hard time letting people in, especially people who can see past the act I put on. I know I've let you down. I know I've been a prick. But you have to believe me when I say I do care about you. I've never had someone put so much on the line for me, with like, the exception of my mother. But that's only because she loves me."

My face turns red. During his speech, I've turned back to face him and I pray he doesn't notice.

The harsh features of his face soften. "Ella, why have you put up with me this whole time?"

He noticed. "I uh..." I stutter, unable to form any sort of argument. My defense has fallen. "Shut up, Malfoy."

I can tell Draco wants to respond, but something catches his eye outside the window, souring the mood. I copy him, feeling my heart sink when I notice the protective barrier has failed and pieces of the grey film fall to the ground. A loud explosion comes from the other end of campus.

"Hold that thought," he whispers, picking himself off the ground and offering me a hand. I immediately brandish my wand when I stand up. Draco looks at me with worry. "This is it, innit?"

"Nah. We'll put up a nice fight. Just need to get somewhere safe." I look around the corner to make sure the close is clear so I can beckon Draco to follow. When I turn back around, he's there to pull me into a kiss. I'm shocked, but it's nice. I never understood how he could be so angular and ice-cold, yet so gentle and warm when he held me in his arms.

I'm breathless. "What was that for?"

"I can _feel_ love, you know. I'm not heartless." He smiles lamely. "Just thought you should know that."

The window we sat in front of mere seconds ago shatters, causing both of us to cover our heads. The stones near us crumble as we're joined by three death eaters eager for a fight. Draco, who was closer to the falling debris, is covered in a thick layer of dust. He's on the other side of the corridor, looking just as fearful as I am.

"Oh look! It's the Malfoy boy," says one.

"I thought you'd be on our side," says the other.

"Too much of a coward like his father," says the third. He laughs.

Draco's fists clench at his side. He throws his wand out and shouts, "depulso!"

The man is sent flying across the corridor, causing the other two to join in the laughter. Those poor souls had no idea what they just got themselves into. Draco, when made fun of, was not a force to be reckoned with.

"Incendio!" Taken off guard, I hit one of the death eaters square in the chest, lighting his robes on fire. Draco knocks the last one out, rendering the group immobile, but not for long. We need to move.

"You okay?" He asks as I join him further up the corridor. We start walking toward the staircase and I begin to realize that I don't think we'll be safe anywhere in the school.

"Fine, you?"

"Yeah. Where are we going?"

"I don't know." A couple more explosions echo around us and I see more sunken in areas that are a mess of stone and plaster. Somewhere in the castle comes a blood-curdling scream.

When we get to the staircase, I can see flashes of bright lights as people duel below us. We start to descend and are quickly confronted by another death eater. This one doesn't seem to recognize Draco because he doesn't taunt nor give us time to react before aiming his wand at us. There is a nasty grin on his face as he begins the incantation for the killing curse. Draco shoves me behind him and combats with Expelliarmus, but it's not enough. The force of the spell knocks the two of us back, snapping the railing and causing us to plummet onto the staircase below.

I land first, rolling down the last few stairs until I collide with a pile of rubble. My wand rolls away from me, but it's the least of my worries. My entire body burns with pain and the wind was knocked out of me when I landed. I'm gasping for air, trying to get any bit of oxygen into my lungs just to satisfy my body. Next to me, Draco groans. I'd ask him if he's okay, but I can't even breathe, let alone speak. We lay next to each other in silence, trying to get a grasp on our bearings as the fight continues on around us.

Draco recovers before I do, holding his wand with his teeth as he shrugs off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves. I notice the mark on his arm is dark, meaning Voldemort is calling for him. He ignores it as he pulls his wand out of his mouth and tends to his wounds with a healing spell. He has a giant cut on his forehead from when he collided with the staircase.

When I can finally breathe, I force myself to sit up despite my brain moving in circles. I crawl on all fours to grab my wand and start to heal myself to the best of my ability. It's a good thing we can do this because I'm pretty sure I broke my ankle.

"You okay?" He finally asks.

I nod. "Are you okay?"

"I will be." Draco sits still as I make my way to the bottom of the staircase where he's sitting. I put my wand to his forehead.

"Episkey." The wound heals before my eyes. Satisfied, I lower my wand. "How's the mark?"

He covers it with his hand in shame. "Burning. Don't worry about it. We need to move."

Sure enough, more of Voldemort's followers are surrounding us as we speak. I want to mention the fact that Draco pushed me behind him, but I know he'd act like it was no big deal. That was brave and so... uncharacteristic of him.

I lead the way to the courtyard where we can see the Quidditch pitch up in flames. Draco defends from behind while I take the ones in front. We aren't heading anywhere in particular, but running around so we can stay alive. Bodies already litter the ground. I'm trying not to look closely in case I know one of them.


	12. Chapter 12

This goes on until we wind up back in the main corridor near the Great Hall. The front of the school is completely collapsed, but another shield is blocking the remaining death eaters, trolls, and giant spiders from getting inside. The Great Hall has been turned into a makeshift infirmary and is packed with people. It makes me worried to see how many people are lying lifeless on cots.

I'm exhausted. I don't know how much time has passed, but it feels like hours. My entire body hurts and I'm covered in dirt and dust. There might be a lull now, but it won't last long. I see Ron and Hermione, but Harry is nowhere to be seen.

Ron is with the rest of his family, gathered around an unconscious Weasley twin. I'm not sure if it's Fred or George, but whoever it is, seems to be breathing. I'm thankful. Fred and George had always been a part of the small percentage of Gryffindors I liked. If anyone deserved to live through this war, it was them.

I notice Draco pulling his sleeves back down. I know people are looking at him. The Malfoy's weren't particularly known for being the "good guys," but the fact that Draco was in here and not out there said a lot. I point to some chairs in the back of the hall and walk slightly behind him to make sure nobody tries anything.

I try to cheer him up with some light conversation after we've sat down. I know he can tell there are eyes on him. If he could be anywhere else right now, it'd be out of this castle.

"Your hair looks great."

He scoffs. "Sure."

"Seriously. It looks nice all wavy and out of place. I think it's more your style."

Draco rolls his eyes and looks at the ground. He doesn't want to deal with the glares right now. I don't blame him. People are looking at me too, but I know it's because I'm sitting here with Draco Malfoy.

After a couple of minutes, Ron walks over. Hermione is sat with Ginny and the twins, apparently explaining something by the way she's moving her hands. Draco refuses to acknowledge the Weasley boy, which is fine. He was here for me anyway.

"Having fun babysitting?" He asks.

"That's hilarious, Weasley," Draco grumbles, "really creative."

"It's been a blast," I tease, ignoring Draco's huffs. "How are you doing?"

"Uh, not great. Harry went to turn himself in."

"What?" My stomach has been a wreck during this whole battle, but it reaches a new low when I hear that. Ron even has Draco's attention.

"That's why the fighting stopped. He realized it was the only way. He'll be fine, though." Ron pauses. "Maybe. Probably. No. Definitely."

"You don't sound so certain," says Draco. Ron glares at him.

"And what's it to you anyway, Malfoy? If I don't recall, we've had to save your life multiple times now. You probably want Harry dead."

"That's the last thing I want." He stands up, towering over Ron. I knew Draco was tall, but he makes Ron look even shorter than me. "If I really wanted Potter dead, do you think I'd be here right now?"

"Then why did _your_ friends set the room of requirement on fire?"

"I don't have control over my friends, just like Potter apparently doesn't have control over his own."

Ron looks pissed. He shoves his finger into Draco's chest. "Don't give me that shit. _You're_ the reason our school was raided. _You're_ the reason Dumbledore is dead. _You're_ the reason Harry is in the woods right now fighting Voldemort on his own. I should bloody kill you myself right here and now."

Draco stretches himself taller in an attempt to make himself look more threatening. "Do it, then."

"Boys, knock it off," I step in, fearing a fistfight. That's the last thing we need right now. "We're all tired, emotions are high, and we really don't need to be bringing each other down right now."

The only reason they actually back off is because they know I'm right. We can't afford any more injuries right now, especially because the fighting is not over. Draco sits back down and crosses his arms. I stop Ron before he walks away.

"Are your brothers okay?"

He nods. "Fred got severely injured, but he'll be okay. He just needs some rest. Thanks for asking." Ron goes to leave again, but a thought crosses his mind and he turns back around. "I'm sorry I didn't get to know you very well over the years. There really was an unnecessary divide between Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Yeah." He makes a great point. I found myself hating a lot of people in that house for no other reason than they were a Gryffindor. My hatred of the golden trio was pretty unnecessary too, now that I was thinking about it. "I'm sorry too."

"Good luck out there."

"You too." I venture back to my chair. Draco is still pouting. I say pouting, but he genuinely looks upset by Ron's comments. The things Ron accused him of were things Draco never wanted to get involved in. I know he felt guilty.

"Don't take that to heart," I remind him. Draco simply nods.

###

Toward the break of daylight, someone points out that a crowd of death eaters is returning to the castle. When the news of their return spreads throughout the makeshift infirmary, we all file outside the destroyed front entrance of the castle, standing on rubble and the blood of our fallen friends and family.

At the front of the pack stands Voldemort and Hagrid, who is carrying a body in his arms. They are too far away to tell who Hagrid is carrying, but I can hear the whispers of people around me. Ginny elbows her brother and asks who it is. Our question is answered when she screams in heartbreak.

Ron pulls her back and hugs her tightly. Draco is shaking next to me. More whispers bounce through the crowd as Voldemort and his followers spread out opposite to us.

"Harry Potter is dead!" Voldemort yells as he makes his way to the middle of the courtyard. His followers cheer and laugh loudly, sending shivers down my spine. There are tears in my eyes. If Harry was dead, then we had lost. This was it.

This is the first time a lot of us have seen the Dark Lord in this form. He's terrifying; I understand why Draco was so reluctant to pick a side.

"You've all fought valiantly. From now on, you put your faith in me. Join us and declare your allegiance."

No one moves. There's an unnerving silence between the two sides because none of us are willing to budge.

Then, someone whispers, "Draco!"

We both look over to see Lucius beckoning his son over. Draco shifts uncomfortably next to me. This is it. This is the moment he picks a side.

"Draco!" Lucius tries again. Draco looks away.

His mother tries. I think about my Mum, sitting at home, fully aware of the war, but not that it would come to Hogwarts. She thought I was safe right now. I wonder how she managed to get out of fighting in this battle when Narcissa was right here.

"Draco," she demands calmly, "come."

He's tempted. Draco takes a small step forward, ready to go to his mother's call. She had truly been the only person to show him love his whole life, but now more than ever, Draco needed to know that he had people on this side that loved him too. I reach for his hand, grabbing his attention. He looks at me.

"Please stay," I ask him. "I need you here with me."

"What about my mother?"

"She'll be okay," I promise. "You will see her again."

That's enough for him. He steps back and holds my hand tighter, looking at his parents directly in the eyes. For once in his life, Draco has taken a stand.

"I'm disappointed in you, Draco. I thought you knew better." Voldemort walks over to us, his voice threatening. He looks at me. "And the Rosier daughter. Surely your father was enough proof of what happens when you disobey."

I stay silent, trying to muster every ounce of courage I have to be here with me right now. Suddenly, Hermione moves through the crowd, stepping in front of the two of us. Ron joins her, followed by other members of Dumbledore's Army and the Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort laughs, promptly shrill cackles from his followers. He walks back to the center of the courtyard.

"This is your last chance. If you don't join us, you will die."

Neville begins to limp forward. I can tell it's a shock to the group because people keep murmuring for him to come back. Neville refuses.

Voldemort laughs again. "I was hoping for better." The crowd breaks out into another round of laughter. "What's your name, boy?"

"Neville Longbottom."

"Well, Neville, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Neville takes a deep breath. I didn't know the Gryffindor boy very well, but I did know he was one of Malfoy's victims. He's holding the sorting hat in his hands and he looks like he's had a rough go this battle. His hair is matted to his forehead with blood.

"It doesn't matter that Harry is dead."

"Don't say that," Ginny scolds him, her eyes still filled with tears.

"But it's true. People die every day. We've lost a lot of great people tonight, but none of them will ever truly be gone. They'll live on, in here." He points to his chest and looks Voldemort in the eye. "So you can do whatever you want to stop us, but it'll be impossible. We'll continue to fight until you've been stopped."

The death eaters laugh for the third time in this conversation. Voldemort raises his hands up. "You can certainly try."

"It's not over!" Screams Neville as he pulls a sword out of the sorting hat. Harry rolls out of Hagrid's arms, falling onto his back on the ground below. Draco rips from my grasp and darts forward.

"Potter!" He yells, throwing Harry his wand. Harry points it at Voldemort's snake companion, sending a blast toward the Dark Lord and into the crowd of Death Eaters. Everyone scatters; some of Voldemort's followers apparate into thick, black smoke while students run back into the castle. Harry jumps over a barrier and barely manages to duck as Voldemort unleashes his anger at the boy, apparating after him.

Draco stands at the edge of the rubble, watching his father walk away. His mother is hesitant, watching both of us from the bridge. All she wants is for Draco to be safe. I get that. A mother's love was a strong thing.

"You can go," I tell him, taking his hand again. He keeps looking at his mum.

"I'm not leaving." Draco nods at Narcissa as a silent way to promise he'll be safe. She nods back, turns, and joins her husband. We watch until they are off the bridge and out of sight.

He seems different. I think he's proud of what he did, proud of finally making his own choices. After seventeen years of obedience, Draco had finally defied his father's Death Eater wishes.

"Thank you," he whispers. We begin to walk back toward the castle to rejoin the fight, even though Draco doesn't have a wand. We could always pick one off a dead body. It might have been unethical, but we needed it more than them.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"Believing in me. Showing me love."

"I could say the same about you," I reply. He nods, grabs the closest wand, and we head back inside.


	13. Chapter 13

It's already total chaos. Most of the fight is happening inside the Great Hall; even the injured who had sat here moments earlier are up fighting again. Draco and I head up the staircase where Ron and Hermione have Voldemort's pet snake at bay, but this definitely won't last. I hold my arm out in front of Draco, putting a finger to my lips to tell him to keep quiet. He nods and backs away slowly as I grab a fallen stone and toss it at the snake. It immediately turns toward me and I regret everything.

"Hey!" Ron yells, trying to get it to turn back toward them. We're basically engaging in a verbal game of tug of war with this snake who seems to be too dumb to see what we're doing. Up until Ron decides to lunge at it, which pisses the snake off even more. He falls to the ground, the knife in his hand falling off the edge near one of the busted railings. Hermione tries to block it from attacking with Protego, which helps a couple of times. I start to panic because I have no idea what to do to help.

Then, Neville appears with that sword in his hands. He swings it, chopping the head off of the snake like a badass. I look back at Draco who seems just as surprised as I am. Who would have thought?

"Oh my God! Neville!" I yell, freaking out as I run up the stairs. Ron and Hermione are in just as much disbelief.

"Hopefully Harry can kill him now," Neville replies, grinning.

"The snake was a horcrux?" I ask.

Hermione nods. "Nagini, yes. The last one."

Draco joins us, shaking the dust off his shoes. "That stupid snake. Thanks, Neville."

The three of them seem surprised Draco is saying anything positive to them. Even Ron, who hours ago had screamed at Draco for his unsatisfactory answers, looks shocked.

"Uh, you're welcome?" Neville phrases it as a question, obviously expecting Draco to add more or say something rude. Draco folds his arms and looks at the group.

"What else needs to get done?"

"Malfoy, what the hell?" Hermione glares at him. "Why are you helping us?"

"Can we maybe have this conversation when we don't have the threat of literal death hanging over our heads?" Draco points up the staircase where Voldemort and Harry have arrived, still shooting spells at one another. The five of us scatter, moving off the stairs as Harry falls over the railing and takes off running back into the front courtyard. Hermione and Ron block a couple of remaining death eaters from the right while Draco and I block the left, giving Harry enough time to catch his breath and prepare for Voldemort.

With only Voldemort and Harry left fighting, students, professors, and friends begin to once again gather outside. Voldemort tries to use the killing curse again, but Harry is able to easily block it. He drops to his knees, stretching his arm and wand out as far as he possibly can. The bright beam of light grows, getting closer and closer to Voldemort until it disarms him. The Dark Lord yells out, dropping to the ground as he begins to turn into ash and float away.

Murmurs move through the crowd as we slowly begin to realize what just happened. We won. We won the war.

Cheers erupt. Hermione, Ron, and friends run out to hug Harry, but I'm more concerned with the blonde boy next to me. He hugs me tightly, resting his chin on the top of my head. I was so proud of him. I know it took a lot of energy and courage to stay here and fight, but he did it. For the first time in his short life, Draco Malfoy made his _own_ choices.

Seven years we had been preparing for this. Seven years, and it was over in the course of one night. Tired and dirty, we file back into the castle, back to the makeshift infirmary to help the wounded and figure out what will happen next. There are bodies everywhere.

We may have won, but there was still a lot to do.

###

A little while later, Draco and I join the golden trio out on the bridge. I sit on the edge, letting my feet dangle over where there would normally be a railing. Hermione sits next to me while Ron is off talking with his brothers. Harry and Draco are off having a conversation of their own. Draco told me he wanted to make reparations with the people he had upset before we left the school for good. Our chances of returning were slim to none.

I can just barely make out what they are saying, but I'm having to really strain my ears.

"I know that nothing can make up for the things I've done, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry. The things I did to you were stupid. I was jealous and a prat."

"I wouldn't say I acted the best, either. Water under the bridge. Besides, the things you did today were really brilliant." Harry smiles. "And your apology proves you really do care, to be fair. I'm glad you stayed."

"I knew you could stop him. It was just a matter of me taking matters into my own hands."

"I'm sorry about your father. It never occurred to me that you'd be going through shit of your own."

"Ah, well." Draco shrugs. "Water under the bridge."

"You're lucky to have someone looking out for you." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Harry gesture toward me. Draco nods.

"The fact she's put up with me this long is a miracle."

"We do a lot for the people we love. I feel the same about Ginny."

It's so weird to hear them talking about girls like lifelong friends, especially because the earlier today they were screaming at each other. I was weirdly proud of Draco for taking responsibility. It was so uncharacteristic of him; if he hadn't done the things he did today, I wouldn't have thought he had him in it.

"I do love her," Draco admits. My cheeks flush and my heart pounds. Next to me, Hermione gasps quietly. I turn to look at her.

"Are you eavesdropping?" I exclaim. She laughs.

"As if you're not. Malfoy literally just admitted to feeling love. I'm in shock."

I laugh with her. "You'd be surprised."

There's a pause in our chat as we continue to try to listen to Draco and Harry's conversation. They're still talking about relationships, but Draco's gone off on a tangent on how he felt like he was never worthy of love.

"She makes me want to prove she's not making a mistake by trusting me," he says. "I want her to know she's not making a mistake by loving me."

Hermione squeals, causing me to burst into another round of giggles. I wish Erica and Dan were here with me. Everyone had friends and family to talk to, but that also meant everyone had a chance at losing said friends and family. At least I knew my friends and family were safe.

"I never thought I'd witness the day Draco Malfoy was apologizing and making amends."

"Me neither, honestly."

"He even said sorry to me for all the muggle-born stuff. And he apologized to Neville."

"He's taking this really seriously."

"He was really brave today. I honestly can't believe that's the same boy who ran away when crying when I punched him." She grins.

"Draco definitely deserved that," I reply, smiling with her. Hermione and I never had a relationship like this before. It was weird talking to her like she was my friend. "I'm just glad you guys are giving him a second chance. A lot of his life was in the hands of his father. He lived in fear. Now that he's free, he can finally start making his own choices."

"That makes a lot of sense. I mean, he was still a dick—"

"Totally," I agree.

"But at least he's trying." She sighs. "I want to apologize to you too, Ella. This whole time I passed you off because you were a Slytherin and I shouldn't have done that. You've been a great ally to Harry and an even greater help to Ron and me during all of this. This war, it's changed us. All of us."

"You weren't the only one who judged based on house pride. I think it's something we're all guilty of."

"Doesn't help when Gryffindor gets preferential treatment either, does it?"

"I wasn't going to mention that." We laugh again. "You're right, though. This war did change us."

"We lost a lot of great people. I just hope they know, wherever they are, that it was all worth it." She was right. Tonks, Professor Lupin, Professor Snape, Lavender Brown, even Dumbledore. There were others too, others I didn't know. So many more had been injured.

"Absolutely."

"Just make sure you take care of yourself."

"You too." We share one more smile before Harry and Draco walk back over to us. Ron joins us too, asking what he missed. Harry says everything is fine and he'll fill him in later. Then he bids us goodbye.

"Thanks again, Ella. It's been a pleasure."

"Always."

"What will you do now?" Ron asks. Draco and I share a look.

"Mum's always had a soft spot for you. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you staying over for a while."

Draco blushes. I'm tempted to tease him, but he's learning a lot today. I know I'll have plenty of time later to make fun of him some more. "That would be nice."

We had a lot to figure out, him and I, but it was nice to know we could do it together. I trusted him to do the right thing because he had been right. I did love him, despite all the shit we had been through. It was nice to know he loved me too.

We might not have had a perfect happily ever after, but this was real life. The truth was we still had a lot to learn and a lot to do. We needed to know what would happen to my mum and to his parents. We needed to figure out what we would do now that school was over. This was it; in a few months, we'd be adults with our whole lives ahead of us. Things weren't perfect. Neither were we. Who knew; things might not even work out after this.

But we could try.

And that was all that mattered.

_The End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I'm not from England but I tried my best to match the slang/culture so my apologies if something is incorrect :-)


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